Amidst all the fears that is in & around me, I see equal amount of possibilities. Yes, I see possibilities against every fear & I have felt all of my fears thoroughly (it is a part of me, which also reminds me of the possibilities). Every time I feel my fears, I am also called to focus on the possibilities that is available in the world, in the humanity that we are & in this life that has been taken for granted by everyone of us in some form or other.

Welcome to my world of possibilities...

I see a world where love becomes the ruling force,
I see a world where love, compassion, empathy, respect exist not only between the victim & the hero, the sufferer & the saviour, the weak & the powerful, the wounded & the healer; but amongst equals unconditionally too,
I see an environment that is clean, green, joyous & flourishing,

I see the corporate world embracing humanity as their core driving force as opposed to profit earning at all cost & under any circumstances,
I see the corporate world enabling a lifestyle for the people that would support them in connecting with the essence of our existence, i.e. love,
I see a corporate world where love stands at the core of every leader rather than fear overruling the heart which ignites unhealthy competition & unwanted politics,
I see the corporate world being kinder, more prepared to drive human force to actualizing better causes for the abundance of humanity, greater peace & unity in the world,

I see every home as the container for enabling growth in every child to express his/her gifts joyously,
I see extraordinary leadership being modeled at home for generations to express,
I see every home being run with love & collaboration with everyone where the main focus is not on ego satisfaction, but on the bigger intention of making this life a beautiful expression for everyone,
I see deep connection being formed without any agenda but love for another human being,

I see love being redefined, where the horizon broadens to capture the essence of life,
I see people walking the spiritual path not when they grow old or are nearing death, but since the time when they get present to life,
I see people having the wisdom of knowing what matters to them not just when a crash down like this happens, but when the world resets itself to its beautiful self again,
I see a world where feminine & masculine energy equally flourishes, where we don't have to talk about inclusion but where we cherish & enable both in us because we have the yin & yang in us, the tenderness & rigour,

I see a world where more than the external wins, people give more importance to the wins against the vices in them,
I see a world where there is joy, radiance, wisdom, peace, love & possibilities to be unleashed by the generations to come,
I see a world where we 'BE' who we are, defying complacency & embracing growth; that to me is freedom & authentic living...

I see this possibility in ME, in YOU & EVERYONE around,
I want to see this change in the world & so I start it from ME.
Will YOU? I will be happy if YOU are a YES to this possibility....

Love,
Priyanka

​#leadersoftomorrow #possibilities #coronatimes #leaderships #life #lifecoahcing 

A quieter external environment has acted as a catalyst to the journey inward! 

With all the chaos around, we almost lost sight of what matters to us ultimately. The deeper meaning of life can never be understood by external wins because that is insatiable. The win on the outside is like chasing our shadow which we can never conquer. Only when the focus is changed, we realize that the shadow is nothing but a projection of us that we are trying to chase in futility. We have the wholesome in us, the completeness in us and yet we find ourselves wandering all around. So much of emphasis is given in doing, achieving and conquering that we forget to just be who we are.

We forget to allow us the permission to just 'BE'.

When everything around us comes to a standstill, we realize that the myriad social roles that we were playing are somehow our coping roles that we adapted to, in our effort to run away from this simple yet beautiful existence called LIFE. When a child is born, when she/he takes the first breathe in human form in this world, the child cries because there's a change of environment: from the warmth in the womb to the coldness outside. With every change, there comes uncertainty, fear and unpleasantness. And as a mark of a true human form, we learn to express our discomfort even as a child. But after a while, the child stops crying and starts to live, accepting the change because that change is a must to grow from a child to an evolved human.

This life is for us to experience a change, a growth, the possibility that we are. We humans have abundant capacity to adapt to our circumstances. Our journey to the unknown starts from the moment we are born. Then why do we fear uncertainty & the unknown?! Fear of uncertainty & the unknown will haunt us only when we fear that there is nothing that we can do to control the situation and when there is unwillingness to surrender to what there is. But ask yourself: Every time we encounter challenging times, what do we do? Do we control the situation or do we change our stance, our expression of who we BE in that moment? Controlling a situation is like fixing it and momentarily believing that things are okay, ignoring what needs our focus. What needs focus really?! Our being needs our focus. Whatever the environment might be, if we have done work to build our core, our inner strength, we have done the work really. And so whatever we say or do doesn't matter, our being says it all. It is a reflection of our inner world which however hard we try, we can't hide. It shows and speaks for us. As we run towards our shadow, the work that needs to be done on our being would depend how far we have gone away from our own self. As you decide to come home to yourself, you'll realize that what truly matters at the end is who we BE in this lifetime. All the definitions, judgement, labeling that we do around success, abundance, happiness, beautiful life is nothing but our ignorance speaking & manifesting in this world.With more awareness around self, we realize that for our soul, all these never really mattered but was a mere expression of the less evolved human form. 

With a sudden pandemic & global silence like this, it is a great reminder from the Source, an invocation to reconnect with all the lost, scattered & fragmented parts within us that we have been looking for here & there. The world within is a measure of the world that we create around us. And today, as a byproduct of who we are in the inside, we are witnessing the world outside us.

Let's collectively inspire each other to correct what we have been ignoring. Let's not fear death, but fear living life as an unevolved human.

Loving you all,
Priyanka

#leadershipincrisis #ceo #chro #leadershipcoaching #lifecoaching #nationallockdown #help #fightagainstcoronavirus #reflection

"Here's a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." - Richard Bach

To find our true self, we have to be willing to give up a side of us that's familiar, that is known and that's very much us. We spend our lives in search of our authentic self, but we never get in touch with it due to our inability to give up that wasn't ours but formed as a result of our covering up of who we truly are. In this journey called life, ironically we first hide ourselves & then based on our awakening, we again try to show to the world who we are; most importantly, allow us to embrace who we are. That trial, that journey of hide & seek is life. That journey of unconsciousness to consciousness is life.

We are ultimately spiritual beings in human forms. Eventually, all that matters will no longer matter because to a soul, all that matters is love. Love for self, others, every being on this planet. Love is the language that our soul speaks and is familiar with. Rest all is an illusion. The more drawn we are to the illusion, less we experience this nectar of life called 'love'.

This life is to live & experience; hardly it is to arrive at something or to gain something. It is but for us to experience one of the most powerful existence & form, that is humanity. When we drop everything & listen to our soul's calling, we have found ourselves, that's the victory of human existence.

When you can trust, when you have no reason to trust,
When you can love, when you have every reason to hate,
When you can walk forward, when you have every resistance to give up,
When you can rejoice, when you have every reason to crib,
When you can celebrate life, when you have every reason to shut down,
When you can feel joy, when you have every reason to be sad,
When you can enjoy being you, when the entire world is caught up in being someone else,
When you can be detached, when you have every urge to be attached....
That's when you have found yourself, that's when you have found the true meaning of this existence.

This life is nothing but a soul's experience to transcend from being human to being whole. To experience the wholeness within you, you have to be willing to shed that isn't you.

Loving life,
Priyanka
#spiritualgrowth #leadership #life #insight 

"The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best that is within us." - Marianne Williamson

Every time I reach a milestone, I do enjoy it; but very soon my mind gets fogged with this question: “What’s my purpose, what’s my WHY? Why am I doing whatever I am doing? How does all of it make sense? When on my deathbed, will I be proud of myself? Will I be content for what I have created? Is this worth-remembering and how will all this serve humanity in a broader way? Have I lived my life purposefully?”

DON'T SPEAK THE TRUTH, JUST CONFORM
From a young age, I knew that I am not someone who loves to conform. I grew up having lot of structures in place. Even if I disliked it, I kind of accepted it because I believed that I have only two options: either to conform or rebel. Conformity seemed right at that point because being a rebel meant that I would have to face lot of oppositions; more so I will miss out on the love of the people. So, inside a rebel, I chose to sow the seed of a conformist. This stance was my quick fix to what was present before me. I did try being a rebel, but I was shut off. I couldn’t harness the courage to be a rebel because that came at the cost of something: being disliked, lacking greater approval and less acceptance. How I took this was, don’t speak the truth; just conform. People dislike listening to the truth, they like to be validated. They want to hear what they believe is to be true. As a child I learnt this survival mechanism & went on. But there was anger brewing inside of me, almost like the volcano. I suppressed it and bottled up my anger. Found ways to numb it. Mostly became indifferent to my own emotions & feelings. I covered it up with being happy, smiling and being just a good girl who is well accepted by everyone around; kind of easy to manage & deal with. Why am I even sharing all of these? One crux from all of these is, I was living an inauthentic life. I wasn’t true to myself and lived for others and what others expected of me. I conformed. This stance sucks. But it also gave me love of people, approval and that’s what got me here where I am today. It did play a big role in my life. And I am thankful to that side of me too.

I WANT TO OWN MY TRUTH
Being in the transformative journey for the past couple of years & having comparatively raised self-awareness, this hypocritic stance is intolerable because the rebel in me wants to find an outlet to speak its truth. For years that rebel which had been shut off by me, now wants to come out & scream loudly. It is seeking for a release of this energy that is bottling inside of me and making it difficult for me to experience the nectar of life i.e. experience my essence, my authentic self. Conformity isn’t who I am; I want to own my truth. Now my heart desires for something more, something that I haven’t experienced before and that is deeper connection & intimacy with self & others. And this definitely doesn’t come from being good but being true.

For most parts I believed that rebellion is the only way. And the opposite of that is conformity. You just have two options. Hardly did I know that there was another option too and that is: speaking the truth and influence reforms & may be not. How does that even matter? Being true does. What was uncomfortable for me was whenever I spoke the truth, it wasn’t received well. I had to bear the consequences of being disliked or even face disagreements. And my challenge was to sit in that discomfort of being attacked. That’s how I felt. That meant I had to be willing to be alone. But my need for approval and validation was too strong. I felt every disagreement to be some sort of an attack to my relationship with the person concerned. I feared that this discord would now affect the relationship. It will never remain the same and I didn’t know how to regain the trust, love and positive dynamics of a relationship even after a disagreement. The best I saw and learnt was to avoid that discomfort or least, the one dominating the relationship, winning the game and having the power over other to control & manipulate. Least did I know that a good relationship is built on an unconditional foundation; there is no condition attached to it. Just like the true love between the child and the parent which is based just on love and no other condition attached to it. But to even get into that space, one must love oneself unconditionally. If you are constantly made to realize that you lack this, that you are not good in this/that, that you look certain way which isn’t right, that you must achieve something to prove your worth etc; then you start to attach conditions to that self-love. If I say myself that I will love myself only when I look this way or have an IQ of this or achieve this and that; it is conditional & when the condition is attained, another condition replaces it and this vicious spiral goes on taking you nowhere. Love can never be experienced in a stance like this.

Coming back to my question of what’s my purpose? Until many years ago, my sole purpose was to be that girl/daughter/woman/wife/mother/employee/individual who is loved by the world. This meant that I wasn’t living my truth but being someone that the world wanted me to be. I did everything I could to win them over or rather fool them. Saying what they wanted to hear, doing what they wanted me to, living a life that I should be living as per the norms of the society/the cultural background that I hail from. But as I am approaching my 40th birthday; in October this year I will turn 40. I am asking myself this question again: what’s my purpose? Is it to live life this way or to live my purpose truly? And the answer is very clear to me and that is: My purpose this lifetime is to speak my truth, live an authentic life and influence reforms; transform people’s lives so that they can live an authentic life themselves. Everybody operates in their time zone. It took me these many years to drop the guard, the mask and come home to myself. I need nothing from anyone, all that I was looking for outside is inside me. Now all I want is to give myself this gift of freedom to be who I am. And in this journey of mine, if I can inspire others like me to walk this authentic path towards liberation from this disempowered conditioning to be someone that they aren’t, then my purpose in life is fulfilled. That day on my deathbed, I would truly smile with no regrets. In fact, as I write this, I smile now with such a relief. Thank you, life! You always amaze me with your unique ways.

So, what’s your purpose this lifetime?

Loving you,
Priyanka
​
​#purposefulliving #leadership #spiritualgrowth #innerwisdom #life #transformation #coaching #insights 

"If you want to meet someone who can fix any situation you don't like, who can bring you happiness inspite of what other people say or believe, look in a mirror, then say this magic word: "Hello".
                                                                                         - From the book Messiah's Handbook
                                                                           (Reminders for the Advanced Soul) by Richard Bach.

I came back all charged up from this coach retreat at Costa Rica. The plan is laid out for what I want to create, who I choose to be in this world, what milestones I want to experience & sleep with. I spent my flight layover time doing that and I made a pretty good plan. I am so excited to get back home & kick-start with my plan. Ah! I even broke it down to everyday details. I used the Pareto Principle - 80/20 to do the smart work. Did I leave any room for contingencies?! Oh yes, I did! I am a great planner with great ideas after all! Can you relate? If yes, good; read beyond. If not, still go on to get more clarity. Don't give up here. Because there's more to this and what I am going to share. So, I land in India with my heart filled with enthusiasm, deep desire & vision. I reach home, excited to meet my son & my partner. Next morning, reality hits me hard. The realities of the world that I live in. This world drives up my fears and all the resistances that I have. This is the world created by me, I choose this however tactics I may choose to put it the other way around. There are wonderful aspects about this world and unpleasantness too. If someone says that the world that they live in doesn't have any unpleasantness, I would assert that they are lying or trying hard to escape it; feeling/seeing something that is so uncomfortable. So, here I am sitting beside my son who is having fever, missed school; my help not showing up due to her sickness; my husband travelling overseas for work in two days. This leaves me with managing everything that wasn't laid down in my plan & that I didn't expect, on my own. That moment, sitting in this heartbreaking discomfort, a voice in me said,"Look at you planner. All your plans failed you. This is your reality. Stop dreaming & just give up." For a second I even detested myself for going to the retreat. Not going would have saved me from all the pain that I am going through. Pain as in helplessness at my inability to stick to my dream plan which I articulated so well. At least, things would have been familiar & comfortable! Other way round, not coming back would have been so great?! I don't have to deal with any of the mess in my world!

For a driven & passionate person like me, it's usually 'play big or go home'. There is no room for anything small. My inability to execute my plan in a circumstance like this is an absolute disaster for me. My inner self has a story & my story is that I will now loose out & miss out on time. I am in a hurry to get where I want to; I must reach my destination faster otherwise it would mean I am not good enough. Is this story the ultimate fact about me?! As I dive deep, I see that it's my interpretation and not the truth. I do get the futility of that. Challenges are everywhere; how I see them & who I choose to be is what makes all the difference. Here's how I arrived at this. Go on and read further to get more of what I have to share. Still struggling?! Great, you are in an unfamiliar place & that's a good place to get present to something that you haven't experienced before. 

Just as I was self-loathing & holding on to my story, I got present to everything I was feeling in that moment. There was anger, sadness, disgust, guilt, regret; kind of mixed feelings. Oh yes! That's a feeling after all. And we detest feeling bad. We make that mean something about us, our world, the people, about life etc. Our survival mechanism is to escape from feeling anything unpleasant or messy. We avoid that and ridiculously, the experience that we are left with is feeling that which we avoided feeling in the first place. We just try to justify not to feel that way, we defend, we avoid & many a times hide.

Doing this exploration, I got present to many discussions that I had had in the past with different people about how they escaped their reality to experience something better. To put in simple words, I asked them: "What did you do to not feel what is uncomfortable in your world and replace it with something opposite of that feeling?". And here are some of the many ways they use: 'I take a long break & go on exploring the world', 'I go on an adventurous spree', 'I enjoy the moment inside the flight on high altitude. This gives me a sense of peace within, out from the world', 'I pick up projects that are outstation so that I don't have to deal with the mess here', 'I work long hours & spend less time at home'......You can come up with your list too. It'll drive you crazy if you do an honest introspection; I guarantee you and say this from personal experience. 

What's different then when we choose something different than what looks normal to us? Well, you are the same, what's different is the context then & the stand you choose to take. Context is our story, which is very dear to us; our truth about our world which isn't a fact, although it may seem like one to us because we are so attached to it & we have every reason to back it up. We have become experienced in doing that over the years that it looks so real to us that we are blinded by it. Our context is our interpretation of our world. If we can accept this fact & open up to exploration of this truth, then we can create what we want wherever we are. We can find peace, happiness, joy, serenity, success & everything that our heart desires be it here or anywhere else. Because the stand that you choose to take irrespective of everything that is happening around, is your gift to yourself & to the world for who you be in your greatness. And remember that a stand is very different from choosing something opposite of what you are feeling. To get to the depth of this, I will probably write another blog. For this one, just this awareness is enough.

Want some magic?! Then look into the mirror & say: "Hello, I am the creator. I can change my interpretation, my context and take a stand that will enable me to experience what I want to. I don't have to run away to feel certain way or experience something that looks impossible in my world right now." You don't have to force or try hard at all. Your willingness to sit in this possibility, will be the first step towards that shift.

In this VUCA world when nothing is certain, your plans with need a re-look, a makeover from time to time. If you get attached to it more than your intention & vision; chances are that you won't enjoy the journey & the experience of it as you execute the plan. Your plan operates in a context that you live in.Wisdom lies in creating a plan & then be willing to embrace the twist & turns; willing to trust the divine detours because what shows up during these moments is what we need to experience/feel/be with to be able to truly feel then what we are longing for; what our heart is wanting to experience eternally. Post that, our actions change and so our results.

Leaving you with this curiosity: "What showed up in you as you read this piece? Is there anything that you could relate to from my sharing? Is there reluctance?" I would love to know & if you are willing, would love to have a conversation with you on a more deeper level. 

Believing in you,
Priyanka

#ourcontext #ourstory #interpretations #stance #insights #coaching #leadership #life #authenticsharing #emotionalintelligence  #reflection

Ah! What a stupid question to ask?! That’s our instant reaction, right?! See, if the question itself sounds stupid, then imagine how really making mistakes would land on you! Don’t worry, you are not alone to feel this way. Most of us live this way, including me. We have a strong aversion to making mistakes & so we live a certain life, a life that is a guarantee to some of the aspects, some of the nuances but not all. This stance guarantees us just a little of what could have been possible. This stance limits us from expanding ourselves to infinity. Our natural desire is to expand, to be free, not to be bounded; but we create the prisons and we live inside of it cribbing, complaining, regretting & also being okay with it. Sometimes some truths are hard to digest because it shows us that side of us that we don’t want to see or get present to because it is so painful, so unsettling, so triggering.

Every time I think of me & everyone around, I find that we are so gifted, highly potential and resourceful, but we aren’t using even an iota of that. Every time we desire to stand up to our greatness, we get stopped not just by others who are fearful but by us too. It is more of our own stances, that stops us from creating what we desire. And the greatest of all things that holds us back is nothing but OUR FEAR OF MAKING MISTAKES. Mistakes start defining us and who we become. But that’s the interpretation of the world and us. That is not the truth. Mistakes are simply mistakes. We make them painful memories and hold on to them making it mean something about us, the person or any subject in that context. We have great ideas, but we keep these to ourselves. Don’t we?! I can assert this because: one, I did like this and two, I know of many people who have done this. The questions that holds me/them back are usually these: What if this isn’t good? What if I look stupid? What if I get rejected? What if it doesn’t work out? What if people laugh at me? What if my life gets messier than what it looks now? What if…………? You can use your fear here to fill the gaps. Just for a second ask this another question: “What you are assuming; can you be 100% sure?” In this mind game, we tend to give up, resign already & not start anything. And mind being mind, it’ll keep popping up with newer & brilliant ideas to find solace in the fact that it is just going to be inside the mind only without coming out in the real world to play the game. We fear playing the game honestly. Did you come across anyone who just by thinking & ideating & not diving into the reality created anything miraculous?! Obviously not! Sometimes I wonder what I have created by holding on to this stance of being perfect, not making mistakes and hiding if I make mistakes out of fear of humiliation, looking stupid and what not! Honestly, nothing! In fact, in the act of not creating the mess outside, I created the mess inside of me.

Long back I learnt not to make mistakes. Because making mistakes wasn’t fun. Who would love to bear the consequences of it? All the shame, guilt and repercussions are hard to handle. But only if you look at it that way and sadly, we are made to look at it that way. Yes, we are made to look at making mistakes that way, we are conditioned everywhere this way. Even in the corporate, you’ll agree that although you are asked to think out of the box, generate new ideas; when you do, you are not received well by many & even the leader is not able to give you the space to make mistakes for many constraints that (s)he is bounded by. We are leaving in constant fear of losing out, missing out, falling short, running behind etc. So, we just give ourselves limited chances. But our exploration of our gifts and its manifestation needs time and more chances than what we are willing to give ourselves.

As the year is winding up, I am sure you all are going to take stock of things. You are going to do an inventory count for 2019. What worked, what didn’t? What was awesome, what wasn’t? What got created and what didn’t? What goals got manifested and what didn’t? etc. Hardly do we take stock of our mistakes. What if we ask ourselves this question, “How many mistakes did I make this year?” As you ask yourself this question, be gentle and kind on yourself. Sit without judgement, don’t sit with a mindset to find fault & beat yourself up, but to take pride in yourself for the fact that you did something out of your way; for something that you were fearful of; for something that you weren’t sure/certain of but you did. As you open you heart to this, you’ll notice a shift in the way you look at mistakes. This stance will enable you to dive into newer, creative and innovative ways. It’ll open the doors to possibilities, of ways that you didn’t know existed. Make mistakes, take stock, forgive, let go, take a new stance, take a renewed goal and again be willing to make mistakes, to let the mess be created, to allow yourself to sit in the discomfort, be willing to play and not just focus on winning. Because after winning, you’ll again feel the vacuum for you haven’t enjoyed the play truly. Make your game infinite and not just fixated with just winning. And if you play without inhibition, without control of self from making mistakes, you will any which ways win. If not anything you will make your life memorable & you’ll be left with a better experience of life. Because as you look back, those wins which were difficult and allowed you to stretch, made a greater impact than the ones that you played safe & comfortably.
 
My intention for 2020 is to allow myself to make mistakes, make mess & not make it mean anything about me but make it memorable. For I know, where I hold back is what needs my attention & action. And that which I’ll resist will persist. As I look back on 2019, in my mistakes I learnt greatest of all lessons, deepest connections were formed and most of all I grew as a person, as a leader and as a coach. And so, I can allow others to make mistakes & give them an “A” despite of that; give my trust to them. And life is about growing and not controlling us from expanding. As I dive into the unknown trajectory, I will make mistakes for that’s a new ground, but what if I look at it not as mistakes but my willingness to redefine my definition of mistakes?! Making mistakes is much more joyous than sitting in regret for not trying to make one.

In the words of the awesome Sara Blakely, “Go ahead, make mistakes. The worst that can happen is you become memorable.”

Those who made/make a dent in the Universe are the ones who never stopped after making mistakes. Are you willing to allow yourself to making mistakes in 2020? And for the mistakes that you made in 2019, are you willing to let go of those painful memories & recreate a positive stance? Because it’s the mindset that you would choose to carry forward in 2020 that would shape your experiences of life eventually.

Wishing you a joyous, abundant, fulfilling & fantastic 2020. May you live in your essence and experience life in totality.

Believing in you.
Priyanka

#life #leadership #coaching #insights #mistakevsexperience #livinginessence

Our essence is the state of groundedness of our being, a state of our peak-performance, our zone of genius. A state of our highest-self, a state where we are at our best & when others experience us as our best. Yes, both! But we oscillate from over-expressing to under-expressing it. How you arrive at your essence, is by doing the deep work with your coaches, taking feedback from people who have experienced you, from honest self-evaluation, from being open to receiving feedback from people (apart from your relatives & blood-relations) with whom you have worked with, even taking feedback from strangers whom you have connected for the first time. You'll see common patterns and themes. Your ability to receive, just receive (without having to counter/defend) what they have to offer you will allow you to see your essence, who you truly are. And when you live in your essence, you are that unique person that you are meant to be, being able to manifest the gifts that Universe has bestowed on you.

​"Everyone has unique gifts & talents. What you love is, what you are gifted at. To be completely happy, to live a completely fulfilled life, you have to do what you love." - Barbara Sher

And like I mentioned before, we keep oscillating between over expression & under expression of our essence. We do this for various reasons. One of the reasons is because of our fears, some acknowledged and some unacknowledged. Having been coached and having coached my clients, one thing I have observed is the resistance to first accepting that there is fear. Denying that one has fear is also a reflection of the fact that either you don't want to dive deep or having fear would mean/reveal something about you that you are not willing to face/get present to. Whenever there is denial, resistance, there is something more beneath that. Uncovering it will truly serve you. But sadly, many a times we live in denial and even resist opening to that someone who is willing to take us to that depth that we are fearful of going. 

"Denying the truth doesn't change the facts."

Let's look at the chart below to understand what over & under expression of our essence would look like. I am taking just five of the many essence that me & my people, my kind of people have. Please note that I have got in touch with my essence from the deep work that I am doing with my coaches and my fellow coaches in the safe container called the Forge group that I am in as a part of my learning initiative as a coach & a leader.    

You can uncover your essence & then see if you are over expressing or under expressing it. When we feel that what we are doing isn't enough, we do more. The underlying fear is to be secured, certain and be the best at it or else we may not have it or be left out. Mostly driven, passionate and ambitious people would be over expressing their essence. Because they want more and more & want to free themselves from the underlying feeling of 'I am not enough, I need something outside of me to feel enough'. They want to be sure, experience abundance at the cost of who they are. When you do so, you are leaving yourself with an experience of life where you actually feel unfulfilled, not enough and not good about where you are at. Hence you jump to the next level to feel that you are enough. But sadly every time you get to that level, you realize there is a level beyond & your focus is to getting to the next. It's like climbing a ladder that has no end and your drive is to get to the end, highest continuum of it. At some point you get frustrated and tend to give up or do more, exhaust yourself to get to somewhere that you realize you never wanted to go. You live a highly stressed, driven life that robs you off your energy, peace of mind and leaves you with a feeling of disconnect & vacuum. You live a life where you have to constantly prove to yourself & others to satiate the feeling of being enough.

For those who under express their essence, the hidden fear is, 'I am not worthy, I don't deserve, I am not good enough.' Here it is more of a victimized stance that you adopt as a result of the failures, negative/unpleasant experiences that you might have had while growing up or what you experienced of the world around you. May be you were conditioned to be this way to underplay and stay protected. Fear of not being accepted as you are might have led to this stance and so your need is to be accepted the ways others want you to be, to fit in somehow. What is the experience of life you are left with as a result of this stance?

What is really getting in your way to living in your essence? My experience of myself & my clients says the following might be something to reflect on.

• Your constant need to fix yourself & others instead of accepting yourself & others.

• You wake up only when life hits you with its bitter realities. Your reaction mode of operation rather than a proactive mode of reflection to look within.

• Your resistance to take responsibilities for the dynamics of life that you are in & putting the focus on anything outside you. Look at your world honestly and ask,'How did I contribute to this dynamics that got created?' In particularly look at your relationship dynamics.

• Your resistance to let go of your excuses and inhibitions. 

• Your inability to trust ways/people/things outside of the lens that you chose to see. 

• Your reluctance to accept/receive support.

• ​Your resistance & fear in sharing the 'real me' with the world.

• Your resistance to admitting to yourself what you secretly dream & masterfully keeping it out of your life.
  

• Any other thing only you know and not being open about.

Are you willing to deep dive? If yes, what is that tiniest step that you would take in that direction?

I will be happy to have a conversation with you around this to know what you want to create for yourself & where ever you are at life. I am willing to support you. I resisted receiving support earlier, but after opening my arms to receiving support from my coaches, my life & who I BE has transformed drastically & so my outcomes. Are you willing to receive that support that I am offering you? If yes, write to me at priyanka@priyankadutta.com or direct message me or just reach out in any creative way that you deem fit.

Believing in you,
​Priyanka

I wasn't who I am today and I very well know that I won't be the same person as I progress in my life. Change is what truly defines me. And I am happy to declare that I am loving this journey of self-discovery, self-awareness, evolution and transformation. I thank each & everyone of you in this journey of mine because all of this happened in your space. Consciously, unconsciously, subtly, intentionally, I was held to experience what I was experiencing; to feel what I was feeling; to act/not act in certain ways to arrive at results expected/unexpected. All I say is, I have grown & now my mental map has widened, my energy field has expanded to be able to accommodate more, hold more, see more and most importantly enjoy more being myself, enabling others to be themselves as they are. On this 30th October 2019, I will turn 39 and so I thought of reflecting my lessons learnt so far and share with you all hoping you'll benefit from this. This in a way is my return gift to you all  for all the love and warmth that you have showered and bestowed on me throughout. 

1. No one else but only you can give yourself the love that you have been seeking outside.

2. True happiness lies in our ability to experience all our pleasant & unpleasant emotions.

3. The complaints that we have of others are exactly the same someone else is having about us. The only thing is, we aren't aware of it or finding it hard to own & accept.

4. Your experience of life majorly depends on who you choose to BE.

5. No one is bad, it's just that our mental maps aren't aligned as a result of which we aren't able to access their bright, more evolved sides.

6. Nothing in life is as scary as our mind makes it to be.

7. By not diving into the other side of fear, you are missing out on a blissful experience of life. 

8. Every one has a unique story that you can truly hear only when you drop your judgement, guards, masks and choose to be in your essence.

​9. You can experience another person's greatness when you first experience your greatness by being in your essence. 

10. Never spend your life comparing yourself with another soul. You are different, they too are. Never believe anyone who does this comparison to make you a better version. Truth is, in comparison you loose your power. 

11. To have a meaningful & peaceful life, embrace adult responses over childhood patterned responses. We majorly act based on our conditioned protective childhood responses. Don't forget that you are no longer that child but growing & evolving.

12. Nobody needs fixing. All they want is the space to be themselves to be able to experience who they are. In that space you flourish & evolve to your highest self.

13. Your triggers are the best place to get access to the brokenness that is inside. Your true work starts in this exploration.

14. Every experience in life matters. If you don't believe me, look back & you'll realize what I mean.

15. If you find yourself in an experience of life that you are not enjoying or don't want to be in; then know that this is exactly what you need for your growth. Yes, a bitter truth.

16. Don't hold on to anything, nothing is permanent; this includes your thoughts, feelings, emotions, ego, judgement, actions, literally everything. Instead hold the sacred space and let things get created in that space freely. Master the patience to hold the space.  

17. Never underestimate the power of anyone however hard you may find it. Your rationality can't match the light inside every soul.

18. You can get access to your intuitive abilities only after you have had access to your intellectual abilities.

19. You attract certain kinds of people in your life because you need them to learn something/experience something unfamiliar/co-create something. Don't detest this experience, but thank them for being there.

20. Our greatest learnings come in seemingly unpleasant ways.

21. However compassionate, caring you might be, know that your leaning back & allowing the person to carve out his/her path in that challenging/struggling moment will only truly serve them. So learn to lean back even if it is discomforting and all you want to do is save them & do it for them. 

22. Remember that excitement for anything after some point fades. Be it in relationship or any venture that you started. Your decision to not give up when the excitement goes away will enable you to take the leap to the next level of your growth. Giving up is not the solution to not being excited. Rather it is a great reflection point for you to look at your own patterns.

23. Be okay with asking for support. Don't equate that with your inability to do on your own and don't beat yourself up for that. When giving support is joyous, so let be receiving joyous too.

24. Blaming is one of the easiest thing you can do rather than owning a part of you in that messiness. Blaming does no good to anyone. Owning your messiness needs courage & depth of character.

25. Our excuses are our true projections of how powerful our intentions are. They are inversely proportionate.

26. Love the person for who he/she is and not what you want them to be. That's not love, that's transaction, an agenda. Hence your experience of love will be around your definition of love.

27. One day you'll leave this world and anyways go away to the unknown. So decide now who you choose to be, because that's the best you can do with your life.

28. In the name of responsibilities don't run away from your dreams. Likewise, in the name of your dreams, don't run away from your responsibilities.

29. Follow your own truth.

30. Life is beautiful. People are in their space doing their best as they can. I am joy, devotion, radiance, wisdom and serenity (from my essence work with my coaches & people who have truly experienced me). 

Expand and spread your wings, fly as high as you want to & create your own lessons. Every lesson is a personal experience & has its own unique beginning, middle and ending. Believe in that.

Love always,
Priyanka

"The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage." - Carrie Jones

How would ultimate success look like to you? "Metaphorically, it would be like standing at the peak of the Mount Everest with my arms wide open and feeling the breeze on my face. I will see the world from the top most point, I will hear an unusual calmness that I have been longing for & feel peace from within, a sense of freedom that I had never experienced before. And when I experience all of these, I will be sure of being successful." So, literally there was a starting point and an end point. A line segment, from point A to point B, that I had defined for myself to experience the feeling of being successful, free and calm. My happiness was attached to an outcome that I had defined for myself! Anything short of that won't make me happy.

The spotlight of my life was not on my present moment, but into the future. And as I craved for that experience, it went further & further. My present looked gloomy to me because I started to draw the line from the past and stretch it in a similar way that I am habituated to do. Picking on the excuses, explanations for not being able to make it happen despite of the desire, feeling frustrated at the results that I was creating for myself. Oblivious of the fact that the best that anyone can do is here & now, performing fully, to the best of your ability right here, right now! No dragging of lines from the past, or fixating on the future; but living the moment like painting a fresh new canvas everyday with renewed zeal & vigour, is the key to real happiness, a master's journey! And there is a master in each one of you only if you allow yourself to see that. 

As we are progressing, as technology is facilitating connections, giving us new ways to interact with one another, we are becoming more & more disconnected. Technology is not the problem, but our ability to use our wisdom is! We have lost it. We have lost our ability to sieve high quality from low, from what is real to superficial, we have been conditioned & molded to believe what is just projected to us. We have lost our ability to decide, gauge & even reflect on what should be believed, absorbed, held on to & let go. 

This blog is an outcome of many incidents & awakening that I have experienced over the last few days/weeks. I see many people posting their best pictures, best days, their highest thoughts, their success stories etc. etc in the social platforms likes Facebook, LinkedIn & tweet about their best ideas/thoughts. Whether they uphold it or not, that's a different debate altogether. All these things are good momentarily but very distracting & short-lived. At least to me this doesn't create any impact because behind the reels, another reality lies. A reality that you are running away from, a reality that you are finding hard to acknowledge & accept, a reality that you have become uncomfortable with because of all the illusions that you created. The rat race of being seen as the best is increasing amongst people & this pains me. Sometimes I too get tempted to be in this race when I see the world just believing in what is shown & not taking a moment to reflect, use their wisdom to figure out what is true & what is fake. But then fortunately I can see the consequence of that choice which I know is short lived & not fulfilling to me. Slowly, rather than creating an impact, your focus gets shifted to how I can get admiration & approval for being best, seen as best. And for sure, that's not my intent.

The saddest part is, in this chaos when someone genuinely puts something concrete, of value & impact, we ignore it; rather it gets ignored amidst the fake. A habit of being in haste is slowly getting formed. Majority of the people don't even realize that they are being influenced by this social "seen as best" revolution which isn't taking them anywhere. And a new form of disorder is taking shape: Social Media Obsession & Anxiety. Read more about this. Hail Google! 

Recently an incident happened & it shook me to the core. One of the acquaintances who was always projecting the best on the social media, suddenly gave up on his life. This news was shocking for me! What happened & why? Everything seemed alright. Life on the social media seemed so good. No one could even doubt that something substantial was happening on the inside that was hidden from the world. Something so troubling that one decided to end one's life?! Based on what was shown, nobody even cared to look past the projection. Nobody cared to even ask just one simple question: "Is everything ok?" We assume that everything is fine. But trust me, things may not be as it is shown. Deep down the reality may be very different. This is a trap that we are trapped in! 

Many years ago I saw a couple posting pictures of them projecting their best into the world. They were one of the couples who set couple goals for others to follow & imbibe. And months later, I got to know that the man committed suicide because of some personal relationship issues. This shook me. What's wrong with us? Social media is here to facilitate connections & not to enable our attachment to our best projections. We are human! We have ups & downs. We have problems in our career, relationships & its okay to have these. What if we choose to drop the projections & show what's real without packaging, filtering & sugar-coating? What's the fear? Fear of abandonment, rejection, looked down upon? Do you then think that those individuals who only puts you in the pedestal for your projections, worth your time & effort? Who are you then putting down by holding on to them? If not dropping it altogether, can we at least choose & care to ask: "How are you?" That would make a lot of difference in someone's life. And I say this from my own experience & encounter with people. They have huge follower-ship but say, "I don't have a real connection or a real friend. They all come to me for some ulterior motives not because they care for me." Isn't this a sad state of affair? They cry in front of me, they share their stories, their pain, their concerns but that doesn't make them bad, low or unappealing. That doesn't mean that they are not having good memories or goodness in life. All it means is you are human & its okay to be real, to embrace yourself with all your imperfections, challenges, dark sides. 

Our work is not to be perfect but be real. So, drop the mask, the projection & be real. At least if not anything, you will give flame to a movement where people will be comfortable being themselves, being seen as they are. Living your life is more important than the petty projections! Sooner you realize, you will make a better & meaningful living for yourself & your significant others. I would be keen on seeing that real self in you; no filter, no projection, no packaging but the real you. Let's use technology to connect with that person & not ignite the "seen as being best" race. Likewise, let's see the real talent, the potential, the possibilities, the real value, the depth & not just the projection. This way we will create a better world for us & generations to come. I take the responsibility for creating an environment for people where sadly projection is given more importance than substance & reality. Will you too? If yes, start from today. Acknowledge a person who is real; reach out to one person & ask how he/she is. Read beneath the lines & make a difference, save a life. 

This blog is my gift to you to ignite this awareness in you to hold on to reality & let go projection. 

Believing in you,
Priyanka