Some from my professional diary, some from my heart, some from my perspective, some from good reads, some from observation, some from life's stories, some from imagination, some from sweet nothings of life...
"The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage." - Carrie Jones
How would ultimate success look like to you? "Metaphorically, it would be like standing at the peak of the Mount Everest with my arms wide open and feeling the breeze on my face. I will see the world from the top most point, I will hear an unusual calmness that I have been longing for & feel peace from within, a sense of freedom that I had never experienced before. And when I experience all of these, I will be sure of being successful." So, literally there was a starting point and an end point. A line segment, from point A to point B, that I had defined for myself to experience the feeling of being successful, free and calm. My happiness was attached to an outcome that I had defined for myself! Anything short of that won't make me happy.
The spotlight of my life was not on my present moment, but into the future. And as I craved for that experience, it went further & further. My present looked gloomy to me because I started to draw the line from the past and stretch it in a similar way that I am habituated to do. Picking on the excuses, explanations for not being able to make it happen despite of the desire, feeling frustrated at the results that I was creating for myself. Oblivious of the fact that the best that anyone can do is here & now, performing fully, to the best of your ability right here, right now! No dragging of lines from the past, or fixating on the future; but living the moment like painting a fresh new canvas everyday with renewed zeal & vigour, is the key to real happiness, a master's journey! And there is a master in each one of you only if you allow yourself to see that.
It is rightly said that when you live either in the past or the future, you live your own sweet lie, your cooked up story, denying the here & now. And so you loose out the possibility of creating the future that you desire. Because it is in here and now that your power lies. You can't go back and change things in the past nor can you guarantee that this is exactly what will happen in future. Here I am talking of future in a broader perspective. Power lies in this moment to create a new beginning from where you are and just perform earnestly & conscientiously what you want. It is in the process that you experience happiness, a sense of contribution; a feeling of worth and peace within. But can we accept whoever we are at this moment?! Can we shift the spotlight not to the past or to the future but to the present moment?! Are we ready to perform in the hot seat and in the moment experience everything that we are wanting to?! For that we need courage. Yes, courage to perform our life's tasks with the believe that we are self-reliant & we make a difference by just being who we are at this point. Psychologists say that the greatest needs of human beings are to feel worthy & to have a deep sense of belonging; community feeling. And we all do things to secretly meet these two needs. We focus more on the future & the past because it is easy to help us evade from our responsibilities & not muster the courage to act now.
Our feeling of worthiness comes from external achievements, rewards, recognition and eventually because we fear to be disliked and focus only on recognition as a sense of worth, we loose the freedom to live a life created by us but live a life defined by others where they are the guiding star who has the power to either give/take away recognition from us. And eventually we don't feel like making any contribution, nor get a sense of belonging to the larger community when we get rejected, when our growing expectations get rejected in the process. True feeling of worth comes from self-acceptance, building deep unconditional relationships with people & from that space contributing to the world right now, in the present in whichever way you would love to. This feeling is something created by you and is not dependent on anyone else but you.
If you really want to create an outcome, you do it no matter what. You don't pick excuses from past nor dwell into the future. But, sadly we spend most of our energy not on the now but every other thing. Once we get lost in this trap, until we muster the courage, we can't get out of it. We then constantly live in excuses fabricated by us; stories we create to cover everything up. We live a life of lie. And when we encounter someone living a life of freedom & real happiness, we detest or don't buy in because secretly it reminds us of our incapability and cowardice.
When you are ready to uncover deeper truths of life, you are given subtle hints. If you are conscious and mindful, you will be able to pick on the cues at right time. So, thankfully I picked on the cues that Universe was sending across me. Instead of feeling happiness and freedom only after climbing the mountain top, I realized wisdom lies in daring to let the spotlight shine on me now, shine a light on the here & now & from that space earnestly & conscientiously perform. It is in every performance that I derive that same metaphorical experience of being at the top of the Mount Everest.
What would you like to choose: run away from the spotlight adopting the escapist route or let the light shine on the here & now?
Love & respect,
As we are progressing, as technology is facilitating connections, giving us new ways to interact with one another, we are becoming more & more disconnected. Technology is not the problem, but our ability to use our wisdom is! We have lost it. We have lost our ability to sieve high quality from low, from what is real to superficial, we have been conditioned & molded to believe what is just projected to us. We have lost our ability to decide, gauge & even reflect on what should be believed, absorbed, held on to & let go.
This blog is an outcome of many incidents & awakening that I have experienced over the last few days/weeks. I see many people posting their best pictures, best days, their highest thoughts, their success stories etc. etc in the social platforms likes Facebook, LinkedIn & tweet about their best ideas/thoughts. Whether they uphold it or not, that's a different debate altogether. All these things are good momentarily but very distracting & short-lived. At least to me this doesn't create any impact because behind the reels, another reality lies. A reality that you are running away from, a reality that you are finding hard to acknowledge & accept, a reality that you have become uncomfortable with because of all the illusions that you created. The rat race of being seen as the best is increasing amongst people & this pains me. Sometimes I too get tempted to be in this race when I see the world just believing in what is shown & not taking a moment to reflect, use their wisdom to figure out what is true & what is fake. But then fortunately I can see the consequence of that choice which I know is short lived & not fulfilling to me. Slowly, rather than creating an impact, your focus gets shifted to how I can get admiration & approval for being best, seen as best. And for sure, that's not my intent.
The saddest part is, in this chaos when someone genuinely puts something concrete, of value & impact, we ignore it; rather it gets ignored amidst the fake. A habit of being in haste is slowly getting formed. Majority of the people don't even realize that they are being influenced by this social "seen as best" revolution which isn't taking them anywhere. And a new form of disorder is taking shape: Social Media Obsession & Anxiety. Read more about this. Hail Google!
Recently an incident happened & it shook me to the core. One of the acquaintances who was always projecting the best on the social media, suddenly gave up on his life. This news was shocking for me! What happened & why? Everything seemed alright. Life on the social media seemed so good. No one could even doubt that something substantial was happening on the inside that was hidden from the world. Something so troubling that one decided to end one's life?! Based on what was shown, nobody even cared to look past the projection. Nobody cared to even ask just one simple question: "Is everything ok?" We assume that everything is fine. But trust me, things may not be as it is shown. Deep down the reality may be very different. This is a trap that we are trapped in!
Many years ago I saw a couple posting pictures of them projecting their best into the world. They were one of the couples who set couple goals for others to follow & imbibe. And months later, I got to know that the man committed suicide because of some personal relationship issues. This shook me. What's wrong with us? Social media is here to facilitate connections & not to enable our attachment to our best projections. We are human! We have ups & downs. We have problems in our career, relationships & its okay to have these. What if we choose to drop the projections & show what's real without packaging, filtering & sugar-coating? What's the fear? Fear of abandonment, rejection, looked down upon? Do you then think that those individuals who only puts you in the pedestal for your projections, worth your time & effort? Who are you then putting down by holding on to them? If not dropping it altogether, can we at least choose & care to ask: "How are you?" That would make a lot of difference in someone's life. And I say this from my own experience & encounter with people. They have huge follower-ship but say, "I don't have a real connection or a real friend. They all come to me for some ulterior motives not because they care for me." Isn't this a sad state of affair? They cry in front of me, they share their stories, their pain, their concerns but that doesn't make them bad, low or unappealing. That doesn't mean that they are not having good memories or goodness in life. All it means is you are human & its okay to be real, to embrace yourself with all your imperfections, challenges, dark sides.
Our work is not to be perfect but be real. So, drop the mask, the projection & be real. At least if not anything, you will give flame to a movement where people will be comfortable being themselves, being seen as they are. Living your life is more important than the petty projections! Sooner you realize, you will make a better & meaningful living for yourself & your significant others. I would be keen on seeing that real self in you; no filter, no projection, no packaging but the real you. Let's use technology to connect with that person & not ignite the "seen as being best" race. Likewise, let's see the real talent, the potential, the possibilities, the real value, the depth & not just the projection. This way we will create a better world for us & generations to come. I take the responsibility for creating an environment for people where sadly projection is given more importance than substance & reality. Will you too? If yes, start from today. Acknowledge a person who is real; reach out to one person & ask how he/she is. Read beneath the lines & make a difference, save a life.
This blog is my gift to you to ignite this awareness in you to hold on to reality & let go projection.
Believing in you,
"If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinion for or against." - Osho
There is always peace & tranquility in the truth. But we are so impatient that we have no time to discover it but use our opinions & judgements. And when we use only our perspectives to see the things, situations, people and understand them, we are way away from the reality. I have judged people many a times. I have judged myself too. I have seen people, things and situations from my lens only & believed strongly to be the truth in totality. For many years I have lived like that. What happens then? My ego got satisfied with the fact that I know people & myself well. I didn't have to do the hard thing of finding out the reality but easily draw conclusion with certain parameters that I choose to have & that saved my time. I felt happy that what I thought to be true is what it is. Ridiculous! Now I can laugh it out, but then this was my priced possession.
A STUMBLE INSIDE ME NEEDED INVESTIGATION
Living in an illusion and believing my truth to be the only truth. This limited my understanding of self and others, of situations & things. Emotional triggers are best ways to find out what's happening in your inner world. We often draw conclusions by seeing what's happening outside but forgetting to acknowledge that it's our inner world that draws these conclusions. For many years I didn't understand this phenomenon. Even though intellectually I did, I didn't viscerally accept it. We live in a world that judges us, boxes us. Assessments are used to categories us. No offense to the great researches done in this area. Assessments are required and important but what is more important is what conclusion we draw from these assessments and who is drawing the conclusion. If our own views are limited, we will draw the conclusion accordingly even if the assessments might have a different tonality to it. Anyways, this isn't my topic of discussion for today. What I want to share is how our own truth distorts the reality, the actual reality. I too choose not to understand the truth. Uncovering the truth was a difficult one & not easy. And who would choose a difficult path over easy one?! No sensible person would! But later I realized, what looked like an easy path, was actually a path leading me to nowhere. I always found a deadlock. As if there was a roadblock every now & then. And all my energy was spent in figuring out & overcoming that. I wasn't tired but my energy depleted and that wasn't a good space to be in. If that way was easy, the sail should have been free-flowing. Something inside me struck & I decided to try out the seemingly hard path. Everyone says it's hard, but is it really hard?! Did I try it myself to conclude that to be hard?! So, I decided to walk the hard path. Not to become some sort of a spiritual teacher or guru; but to experience it myself to see what's there in it. The curious mind did play a good role here! This first decision was enough to bring about a huge shift in me. A shift that's not visible but can be felt from inside and it takes time to manifest outside. In this path, all I needed to do is to look within, check my internal map & navigate myself accordingly. Whenever I find myself not moving forward, I know I have not gone deep inside. There's a stumble inside that I needed to investigate. Once I did that & overcame the block, the path outside itself opened the doors to many beautiful destinations.
SOMEONE ELSE HAVING CONTROL OVER OUR EMOTIONAL STATE
One such block inside me was being easily affected by other's behaviours, opinions, other's idea of me, their actions. This is the zone that most of us are in. Many of my clients whom I coach find themselves in this spot. Someone else having the power on us! We feel angry, sad, happy, good about ourselves, feel bad based on what others think of us & do to us. Sometimes we also try to act smart and ignore feeling this way. We are ashamed to admit & acknowledge. But the fact is that it affected us so much that we decided to ignore it, numb it to negate the pain. So, see we are again walking the easy path of being affected by others or altogether brushing off our emotions & acting as if nothing can affect me. In reality, this rejection is a clear sign of being affected. Consciously we have numbed our emotions, but our neurons stores it. Every cell has an emotional memory which manifests in some or the other forms such as our behaviours, actions & physical manifestations in the form of ailments, illness etc. Emotions means energy in motion. And energy can't be destroyed or created but transformed & transferred. And transformation of energy is what is called building up one's emotional resilience, internal strength, the emotional muscle. Today I vulnerably write about my weaknesses & express openly. But, I wasn't like this too before. Now I understand that if I have to experience myself in totality which is the beautiful thing to do, I have to acknowledge every side of me and so do I have to allow others to see my dark sides too. No one should love me only for my strengths but also should know that I too have my imperfections & I am working on it. If that acceptance is there, people will experience me more profoundly, without my mask & armour. This will also enable others to drop their masks & armour hopefully. My journey then will be fruitful!
When you choose to see the truth, you investigate. Whenever I get hurt, angry or sad or even too excited; I ask myself this question: What is causing this emotional state: my truth or the actual truth? If there is a gap, I know the emotional state is futile. Not real but temporary. When my truth doesn't match the reality, I get angry, sad & withdraw. Then I know that I have taken the shortcut and not the so-perceived hard path. When my truth exceeds the reality, I get excited & overly happy. Then also I know that deep down I need to do deep work to investigate if that's my low self-esteem finding solace in external validation or me lowering my benchmark to not to lean on to my fears & insecurities. I am working on myself, I stumble many many times; but I get up because now I am conscious of my inner world and that this is the only thing that bridges the gap between my truth & the actual truth. I have the power to control my emotional state & no one else has.
TRUTH IS JOY, PEACE & GENTLE
Many a times we lower our truth to be happy. Other times we exceed it to at least land up at something positive. But any which ways we are deviating from the reality. To uncover the truth, the reality as it is; we must peep inside, accept & start seeing as it is without prejudice, judgements, opinions. Is this easy? Not at all. But it leads to joy, inner peace & increased vibration. Because the truth is joy, peace & gentle. That's a state of neutrality. Everything is in sync. So, does your truth match the truth of the source? If not, it's time to walk the inward journey.
Love, light & gratitude,
"You are confined only by the walls you build yourself."
Uncovering a truth requires courage and the willingness to go deep into areas within us that we haven't traversed or have restricted ourselves from doing so. When you open the doors to that which you resist, you'll find that you have unlocked the first door to the barrier itself. There's this abundance barrier that is holding me back from experiencing myself in a profound way & not letting others experience me in my unique ways. As I block this, I too block myself from creating what I am meant to create.
WE ARE MORE THAN WHAT WE HAVE EVEN EXPERIENCED OF US
This life is not just about waking up everyday and performing the tasks that we have laid down for ourselves but doing; let me scrap doing but being more of who we truly are. We are at the core beyond our possibilities, beyond our vision, beyond our thoughts, beyond our limitations. We are extraordinary, we are love, we are pure, we are abundant, we are more than what we have even experienced of us.There's so much to experience ourselves in us that this life-time will fall short. As I grew in my life, I have uncovered beautiful parts inside of me, parts unknown to me & also parts that looked seemingly not so good to me but was there to tell me that it is important to experience both sides of the coin to be able to arrive at a point of nothingness, a space of absolute infiniteness. The space between the extremes, the space between the polarities, because to experience that space, you have to be awakened to even sense its presence.
For a greater part of my life, I lived in black & white. I lived in this or that, on or off, because I wasn't even aware that something in between existed because this awareness is very unique to every individual based on his/her growth journey. I am not sure what & why I am writing all of these. But yes, I am letting myself flow, I am enabling my thoughts to flow and uncover an abundance barrier that is holding me back for long and I find many people including my clients having this barrier, unable to break-free from it. So this blog is an attempt to uncover that barrier. I have realized that when you let your thoughts flow, feel the underlying emotion in it and just sit with it with the quest to uncover the message, you get the message, the answer that you are looking for.
THE UNIVERSE IS ABUNDANT ONLY IF WE ARE WILLING TO EXPERIENCE IT
Anything that we restrict in us and don't allow to flow & obstruct the Universe's flow of energy is where we get stuck. Abundance is the natural flow. The Universe is abundant only if we are willing to experience it. We choose to be in the scarcity space because that's what we have experienced, that's what most of us have been conditioned to accept, that's what takes us to the victim mode paving the way for sympathy & excuses which we like & dislike too. A thought is coming to my mind but I am feeling vulnerable to share it here. And I know that this is the right moment to share because this resistance will uncover something that will serve me. So, here it is: I grew up in a middle class family and my parents gave us the best that they could. Today I am all because of the foundation that was laid then. So, I sit in this deep gratitude of that experience. Yet, there are parts in me that is looking for answers, unresolved issues around abundance that needs resolution. And here I am to unlock my abundance barrier. Two questions that I asked myself since the abundance barrier is not serving me anymore are:
1. What is the abundance barrier trying to teach me that I haven't learnt over these years?
2. What message is it giving that I have been ignoring for years?
What came up for me are these revelations! Deep down I believe all of these: I don't deserve abundance. I am not important enough to experience abundance. In the experience of scarcity my deeper needs of being accepted, loved, valued unconditionally are met. And because of which I had restricted myself from experiencing abundance. I never allowed myself to embrace it, but kept on deflecting it whenever it wanted to embrace me. As a result of which, I couldn't experience the joy of being in the nothingness of this experience. I just tasted one side of the coin and never allowed myself to taste the other side thinking that this is what it is. I kept imagining what the other side would look like & kept judging, conceptualizing, restricting myself from experiencing that out of sheer fear to plunge to the other side. This awareness is enough for me to create a new awareness in me to enable me to experience the other side, allowing the energy to flow & enabling the abundance barrier to break. I already feel from the inside that the barrier is breaking now.
We think that abundance means having lots of money, huge bank balance, surplus income etc. But in reality abundance is beyond all of these. Abundance is the feeling of fullness, feeling of having everything, feeling of bliss, joy, feeling of resourcefulness, feeling of the power within us to create & manifest. When we get access to that power within, we automatically elevate ourselves from a space of lack, emptiness, scarcity to a space of resourcefulness. Abundance can be felt when we get in touch with the gold mine that is hidden inside us and now it is up to us as to how we want to use it. Getting into that space requires deep belief that we deserve to live in abundance and that abundance lies in us & not outside us. You can earn more money, yet feel lack & scarce. You can have everything yet feel empty & incomplete. Abundance comes from the acceptance of these facts: I am worthy of this feeling. I have faith in my resourcefulness. I approve of the abundance that is already there in my life. I approve of the abundance in me. I am not pulling myself down to scarcity in my thoughts, emotions & actions but elevating myself to experience abundance, a blissful state to be in. When the little voice inside us says: "Yes, I have everything, I am full, complete and powerful enough to create what is important to me", is when you truly embrace abundance. You break free from your barrier and you are a step closer to your experience of life. Why did I even mention that I belonged to a middle-class family?! Because generally we are conditioned to belief that a normal middle-class family doesn't live much of their lives in abundance state but scarcity state. That is what we have been conditioned to believe. But the actual experience would be to not accept what is generally downloaded to you but what you experience what the reality is. Being in middle-class family doesn't mean living in scarcity, it is just the conditioned mind that restricts the experience of the abundance gold mine that is there in us. Once that is broken free, abundance will flow through every person, every being. It's a matter of sheer experience unique to self!
OUR CHOICE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE
An insight is a new way of looking at things. You then club it with your learning, learning from other sources and make a powerful perspective for you. That's the beginning of any journey. Once you are aware of your abundance barrier, you got to ask yourself: What do you want to do about it? You want to use it to experience yourself in a more profound way or you want to remain who you are, in a cautious space not wanting to expand & bloom? The choice is entirely yours and that choice makes all the difference. Leaving you with a thought provoking quote by J K Rowling, "It is impossible to live without failing at something...unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
Love, light & gratitude,
"Your life is a story of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next."
Transition simply means a change from one state to another desired state. We all fear transition because any change is uncertain in terms of the experience & the outcome. It requires one to move out from a comfort zone and play full out to experience something that is different and uncommon. Sometimes we choose transition and sometimes life gifts us certain circumstances and experiences that require us to transition to a different level. I see this as an opportunity for us to grow to our next level. Some transitions are unexpected and uncomfortable when we are not ready to accept that sudden change. In today's VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world, change is certain and so we must be prepared for any kind of transition. The more prepared we are, the more easy the journey becomes & surety of an effective outcome. The moment we get stuck in rigidness and don't embrace flexibility, that's the moment we indirectly say NO to any change which might be really beneficial for our growth. I would like to categorize transition into two broad categories:
1. Involuntary transition
2. Voluntary transition
1. Involuntary transition: Any change in life which we voluntarily have not chosen but bestowed to us due to circumstantial changes or is situation based is involuntary transition. This is one of the most challenging transition because we have no prior acceptance to this but it's like a sudden jolt to us that is imposed and leaves us wondering what next to do and not to do. This phase has the probability of taking us to a victim mode if we aren't cautious. Many people break-down during this phase and becomes a victim. This requires one to go through a grieving process wherein you first just acknowledge what has happened, take charge of the emotions, let them out in creative ways; accept the reality and then chalk out the next moves to move forward. As an example, when an organization decides to downsize, many employees get affected during this involuntary transition. Although this has nothing to do with the employee personally, but due to the common human dynamics, one has the tendency to take this personally and hold grudges for putting one in an uncomfortable and undesirable situation. Hence, an employee goes through a turmoil and shows different reactions based on the personality type. Some withdraw, some run away from the reality and some become resentful and stuck. All these are natural reactions of the involuntary transition phase. More than the situation, the perception of the situation affects the overall morale and so the actions and the results.
2. Voluntary transition: Any change that is initiated by us and majorly taken to experience ourselves in new ways in any sphere of our lives is voluntary transition. This is something that is exciting and fearful but this comes with a lot of positive emotions because an individual chooses this unlike something that is imposed upon. This transition is more like wearing the creator's hat and the other one is like being victimized. Examples of this transition may be: starting a new role, a shift from an individual role to a leadership role; starting something which one is passionate about; starting on a new journey on self-discovery and possibilities of creating what's not there and what one never thought of and many more.
No matter what form the transition might be, it requires few common things for its success:
The potential of a person never fades, but we do loose the form based on what we have decided to perceive about what has happened. A positive frame of mind will enable positive actions and so will the results be positive. But a negative frame of mind will block us from having access to our creativity & our resourcefulness. And so the actions and results will match to the state of our mind. It is important that we keep challenging ourselves to do things that make us uncomfortable, make us realize that we have immense possibilities, and that the power lies not in the situation but in the way we take it. Any situation that breaks us is something that needs retrospection of ourselves because that's a direct message to us about our internal dialogue that we are having. More a person has self-awareness and a powerful intention, more he/she can lead oneself from a victim state to a creator state and that makes all the difference. A shift in the state of our mind is one of the most vital, critical, simple yet difficult thing to do. It's a choice, a habit, a practice and a mindset that needs nurturing, care and unfolding.
Inviting you all to a joyous journey of transition from where you are to where you truly want to be.
Love & light,
When you open up your mind, you will see the colourful hues, the tonalities and the beauty that comes with it, which otherwise looks like black & white or even grey.
We subconsciously make a choice to paint our life either with colours or just let it be black and white. Did you know that our subconscious mind stores & associates any memory basically in these three forms: colour (visual), sound (auditory) and feeling (kinesthetic)? When we close our eyes and try to recollect anything; if we closely observe, we will see that for everything, we have associated it with a colour, a sound and a feeling very personal to us. All those experiences that we have clubbed under the positive/happy category, we give it different hues of colour and all those that we perceive as not so good/negative experience, we give it a different tonality of colour depending on who we are, what we see and how we see. Today is the best day for me to write about colours as I see people around me playing with colours and enjoying. The curious mind in me wonders, are we also colouring our lives the way we are doing today, choosing every colour to play with?! Yes, it's Holi and since it's a colourful festival, my mind wanders around to see the colours inside every individual. We let in some colours, some we don't, some we dislike, some we camouflage, some we run away from and many more.
Today, while I was coaching one of my clients, I found during the session that my client was not letting herself play with all the colours of her life. She was restricting herself, blocking herself from experiencing the colourful hues of life. In fact, the colours that she was all aware of was black and white. That was the lens through which she looked at life, herself and all the people around. And without doubt, her life was not as good as she wanted it to be. She was controlling herself and not allowing herself to experience the colourful hues of life. Past painful memories, past experiences, life's challenges toughened her core and slowly from a girl who loved freedom, fulfillment, bliss; moved to becoming controlled, repressive, reserved, withdrawn. She has trust issues and so never allowed herself to experience the joy of trusting others. How it feels like to have childlike trust and faith is what she stopped experiencing! How it feels like to fly again, be the creator of one's life and not just a fighter is what she had forgotten! How to stand up against the demons residing inside us, how to stand tall and let go of the burden pulling her down was something she had long forgotten! She loved colours, she had choices, but as life unfolded and caught her in its grip, she slowly surrendered to it & numbed her choices, her voice inside. She became doubtful of her choices, her ability to decide for herself, her ability to break-free and consumed herself in the endless pursuits & overcoming of life's battles & challenges.
One question that triggered her was: Where are you holding yourself back and why? She didn't have an answer! She was quiet for a long time and became thoughtful! She didn't realize that she was at all holding herself back till this question was posed to her. This question was like a jolt to her from the futile reality that she was creating for herself unknowingly. And what did she gain from that reality that she had created?! Nothing except control and restraint.
The joy of life can never be experienced in restraint. A free & open mind will enable you to see life in totality; a restricted & controlled mind will not enable that. There will shades of grey in everything that you look and witness from that lens. You will not be able to paint your life with colours that you truly love. Freedom of mind from all the pains, baggage, burdens will enable you to bloom into the person that you truly are.
Let the colours of life flow through you. Let yourself experience all the hues, because the joy lies not in restraint but allowing yourself to open up to this process called life that is beautiful, colourful, magnificent only if you choose to experience it with an open mind. So, today on the occasion of Holi, I invite you to allow yourself to paint your life with all the colours that you truly love and let your mind open up to new possibilities.
Love & light,
Freedom is what we all overtly and secretly desire. Don't we? We give it different names such as independence, self-sufficient, liability-free, detachment, happy etc. We want to spread our wings and fly at our will devoid of any shackles pulling us down or holding us back. Freedom is one of the top most values for people like me. Not just me, deep down if you ask yourself honestly, you'll find that this is one of the values that drive all our actions. We seek freedom from mediocrity, from constant failing with no positive results, financial liberation, freedom from tedious jobs, difficult relationships, meaningless pursuits, freedom from control, freedom from barriers inside and outside us that holds us back from being that person, from that individual who truly are. Liberating ourselves from all the chains, shackles that tie us down from blooming into our highest selves; living in our zone of genius is what we all want to master and live by to be able to truly experience life in it's truest essence. Freedom from self-denial, guilt, fear, lack of courage to be who we are is what we all want. Freedom has different colours and covers many things. But are we free? If not, why? Have we covered ourselves up in the so-called illusion of freedom that we supposedly feel is what it looks like?! Have we run away from seeking it altogether due to our perceived inability to break-free? Do we fear breaking free? Do we fear being extra-ordinary because that will mean giving up our comforting ordinary identity?
Imagine you are trapped inside a box however giant it might be, at the end it is a box that you are in and as you explore the box in and out, after some point you feel suffocated because you realize that your own pursuits have chained you, your lack of awareness of self, what it desires, what it wants from life, what you want to create, is what keeps you going back to the box. You have money but feel valueless, you have people around you but feel lonely, long for meaningful relationships, you have a career but every morning you have to drive yourself out to work, you have everything yet you feel like you have nothing. There is vacuum inside that many a times we don't even realize that it is nothing but our creation because of the unconscious choices that we made. We were conditioned in a particular way to think, look at things, we followed and picked up whatever came our way, decisions were already made for us, we were given choices and we had to pick from that not realizing that there could have been other choices too, we lost our ability to decide because we never used that muscle to make the decision for ourselves, we went with the flow and things worked out for us because we were intelligent enough to adapt to things and people around us. In this adaption, somewhere slowly and slowly our inner self got covered up without us realizing it. Our voice inside us did tell us, did tell us to listen to it and break-free but we didn't have the courage to act on it. The giver at the core of our being always gave in, yet forgetting to give ourselves the best that we deserved. The introvert in us never gathered the courage to stand against our loved ones or be vocal of what we truly needed. We suffered internally yet remained calm on the outside. We took this as a challenge of life and embraced it but for how long?! There comes a point when you can't escape from the trap that you laid for yourselves. The pains of being in that trap somewhere after a point, outweighs our gains and that's when we feel the disturbance within. That's when we feel the discontentment, the feeling of imbalance, feeling of fear, feeling of suffocation, feeling of discomfort within and we start questioning ourselves about all of these. We are too fearful to even confront ourselves and our identity that we created over time. We look into the mirror and realize that's not me who is standing there. The inner child in us gets neglected or criticized and we stand there in a fix as to embrace this new awakening or altogether defy this awareness and go back to our default way of functioning because that's what our mask is, that's what our strategic self is. You are standing at the cross-road of your life either to choose one of these: continue being in this trap or break-free to experience true liberation. If you choose to pick the later then, welcome to my world. We resonate and we together can create the path for you to break-free. From fear to freedom is what you desire and so you deserve.
From fear to freedom, from a default life to a created life, from just a career to a fulfilled career, from just a relationship to deep connections, from chasing to attracting, from giving in to influencing, from running away to embracing, from quest to quench, from finding answers to experiencing you, from scarcity to abundance, from exteriority to essence. You deserve to experience life to its fullest glory based in love and not fear.
What do you need to break-free?
The CHOICE to break-free and UNDERGO A DEEP TRANSFORMATION through a validated process along with the will to experiment, to take risk, to revamp, to try out new things, new ways, breaking old you to create a new you. Simply put, you have to take a tough decision to create an extra-ordinary life for yourself & embrace the you that already resides inside, waiting for you to give it wings to fly not without you in your imagination but with you in reality, in this real world.
Love & light,
What makes you happy? Is it the materialistic thing, is it the award, is it that dream car, is it that house, is it that person whom you hold your hands with, is it that position.....? I can go on and on. But let me spin your mind a bit and tell you that it's not the thing that brings us joy, the happiness at the grandest level but the feeling, the experience and the thought that enlivens that moment and brings us joy. Do reflect. If things would have given you joy and happiness, there wouldn't have been longing for the next one, your happiness wouldn't have subsided after your attained one. This would have satisfied you and you would have been content. But, truly the experience, the feeling you derive is what makes you happy. And most important of all the feeling of gratitude brings more joy in your life. What is gratitude? Gratitude is a deep feeling of joy that you experience when you reflect at what has happened to you, it's a believe that everything that has happened for you is what you manifested and called for consciously and unconsciously and you wanted it for your own good, to glorify yourself and experience your own greatness. Gratitude is being thankful for every bit that you have encountered, it is trust, it is acceptance, it is approval, it is a powerful thought that you feed into your mind for all that you want to create in your life and believing it to be true for you. There is no longing, no fear, no doubt, no uncertainty but action, love, trust, faith and certainty of what you want to create. The more you are grateful for what you have, you create more of that in your life because you open the doors to acceptance, you allow your being to shift. You allow yourself the involvement in the process and not just arriving at the destination which we very often do.
I was running after so many things in life. I see many people like me running after everything yet feel the vacuum, a sense of worthlessness, always needing to fill the inner devoid with one or the other thing. It's like we have lost something inside and we keep looking for it outside and keep searching and join hands with the crowd. We feel great because that's what we see majority of us doing and we get lost and forget what we were even looking for. We just run and run and find ourselves lost amidst everything that we have. We have loads of information, followers but no involvement in our own lives. We aren't there for ourselves and we expect distractions to suffice that need in us. But, the key lies within and so must the search be within and not outside. To realize who you truly are, you have to realize who you are not. So, experiences are given to you to taste that aspect for you to be very clear of who you are. We don't come here to become someone but to experience our greatness which is already there within us. We have everything in us that makes us complete. Nothing else can complete us but our own realization, our own experiences of ourselves will enable that completeness in you. In the stillness you will find who you are and not in the chaotic world outside you. And every time we call ourselves victim, we must understand that, we have created this for us. Nothing is outside our will. Whether we agree, accept this depends on our levels of self-awareness and actualization. And if you cannot accept this, allow yourself the space and time to unravel it at your own time because this is what you require at this point in time to grow to your highest self.
Once you embrace all that has happened in your life as your own creation, you can then be grateful for everything. This is a powerful space to be in, because then you regain the power to create your life as you intent it to be. Every setback, every experience, every relationship, every encounter, every low/high, every moment in your life was required for you to evolve and there is so much gratitude for all of these. Once you sit in this gratitude you defy every negative thought that comes up, every guilt, every fear, every worry, every longing and every feeling of "I am not good enough, I am not loved, I am not important" and create a space to cultivate more of what you want, what makes you happy, what makes you joyful. When you being shifts, your entire world transforms. A shift from the inside is what creates miracles and ever lasting transformation. So, the question that I leave you with is: "Can you be grateful for everything that has happened to you till now? Can you see the bigger purpose behind those moments? Can you embrace every aspect of you: good, bad, ugly, guilty, fearful, embarrassing, unacknowledged, acknowledged? Will you?" If you can't try with at least one gratitude a day to start with and experience the shift.I know it's difficult because I found it hard but as I practiced it, I became good at it and so my being shifted.
I am grateful that my life is a rising sun, my health is a blossoming flower, my relationship is a growing garden where I get space to evolve & manifest my highest potential & give the same to others with love, wealth is a consistently flowing fountain, I am my essence.
Love & light,
However hard you may try to cover up the chaotic inner world that you are in, eventually it gets manifested in one or the other form. You may be clever enough to paint it bright with an outward coat of external materialistic things, but for how long?! This will slowly & subtly get projected in the form of anxiety, stress, frustration, loneliness, anger, depression, feeling of vacuum etc. These are coined by great psychologists as unresolved issues or unfinished agendas that lie within us and bother us at an unconscious level which we aren't aware. Many a times we feel that we know what needs to be done, but we attract something unwanted; many a times we feel we know the way out, but we land up doing stuffs that are just the opposite of what we envisioned. Our state of resourcefulness determines our actions and ultimately the destiny that we will be living/creating. Hence, it is very important first to create a world within that will enable us to perform at our peak & live our highest self. A chaotic inner world is what gets created if we are not mindful of what we want, identify with, value, belief and eventually surrender to.
The truth that we believe in, is not the universal truth. Our truth is actually our version of truth which we form after doing the following three things:
The actual event may have been very different, but we perceive it in a particular way and give this our meaning which we call it perception and eventually gets converted as memory that gets stored in our neurons. They lay there subconsciously and are majorly responsible for all the actions, our behaviours, our patterns, our form, our resourcefulness state. It's a common tendency to distract ourselves from the chaos by instant gratification such as exercising, buying things to pacify ourselves, spending time with the outside world, working for late hours, avoiding conversations which triggers us, blocking ourselves from stuffs that reminds us of things we don't want to experience etc. There are so many ways we use to fool ourselves. But, when we are back to ourselves, in our own inner world, we feel the pain, the grief, the anxiety and just can't help but feel the negative emotions within us & long for escaping from all these. How long can we run away from all of these? What do you want to fill your cup with? Where are you in conflict with your inner self? A part says you want this, and a part says you don't want. You want to get out of this mess, but don't know how. There is a conflict within! An inner self that knows what needs to be done and the other self that resists the transformation because you find it hard to sit in this anxiety to find an answer. You have formed some habits that don't support you and now in a fix. But, remember that it is never too late to do anything in life. The first transformation needs to happen within. And here NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) comes into the picture. NLP uses tools and techniques to re-imprint our subconscious mind. Once we know how to make friendship with our subconscious mind, we can create miracles in every aspect of our lives: be it career, relationship, ourselves, our loved ones' lives etc. Tapping and re-imprinting the subconscious mind is the key. Superseding your conscious mind to connect with the subconscious mind will give you access to your inner power, your state of resourcefulness.
We all have potential, all the resources are available within us. Hence in coaching we say that a person is whole and complete. But, because of the deletion, distortion and generalization that we do, we sometimes loose our form, our state and loose access to our creativity & wisdom within. That's when we become unresourceful and start acting in ways that don't support us. We then start judging ourselves and others, become critical, our inner critic gets activated, we lack the drive to move forward, we loose hope, we keep repeating our mistakes etc. Hence, our endeavour should be to work on our internal map to get access to our resourceful state and have a lasting impact.
Here's challenging you to welcome positive transformation & growth in all the areas of your life, breaking through unwanted patterns and creating the desired outcomes/results that you want.
Love & light, Priyanka
Recreating oneself is a tough process but not impossible. One must be prepared to go through a process that is rigorous and at times difficult to fully trust. It’s like growing up even when you think you are grown. And to grow up to that level, you must embrace the new you. When you shed your old skin and get into something new, it feels strange and weird. The physiological changes in the body are difficult to decipher. The first change occurs inside, creating a void/a space to embrace the “all new”. There is resistance from the conscious mind because it becomes uncertain about what is happening. You lose your grip and control! It’s made to traverse through a new process & so resists the change strongly because it becomes uncomfortable with what is happening inside. It gets lost, confused and doubts the process. It feels like you are not you anymore. The way you used to be; is evolving, changing; your reactions are getting different, your responses are becoming different. There’s a tug of war happening inside between your evolving self and your old self. You know that you need to change and accept the newness, but our rational mind always pitches in to make us aware of the uncertainty and the unknown that we are jumping to. This mind is there to protect us from any pain, oblivious of the fact that the real liberation lies in growth and not in comfort zone that we very dearly hold on to.
I am going through a process where I am embracing a new me inside of me. A new person is evolving, and I can see so much resistance in me to embrace this that I have chosen to shut myself up. But, as I do this, I am very aware that my resistance is futile and temporary. It’s my old way of showing my disapproval of something that I know is good for me but don’t want to embrace because it is challenging and will take me to a different trajectory that I have no idea about. May be someday I will look back and have a good laugh at my stupidity. Every growth is beautiful and very much required. Without growth, there’s no life and with no life, it is equivalent to dying internally and just carrying a soulless body.
When you commit yourself to living in the zone of genius, you have no other option but to trust the process. And as I sat down to trust the process of evolution completely, that’s when I came across the emotions running within me. There’s anger, there’s sadness and beneath that, there is fear of losing my old self, my old identity that I had projected and wore for so long. I am sad to shed it, yet I am happy to embrace a more authentic me. There is mixed emotion.
When things become uncomfortable, that’s when we know that we are connecting to our real self, our essence and evolving as a person. There are many aspects within us which we find it hard to acknowledge and accept. Many a times we don’t even know the truth because we aren’t aware to that extent to be able to crack the puzzle of pain that lay in front of us. The easiest and comfortable way to get rid of all of this, is to run away from the pain and mask it with layers of lies, pacify it with distraction, to the point of numbing it, so that we pretend not knowing what is happening. But, to take the cut to our next level, we must bear the pain, we must force ourselves through the process; we have to take that leap and jump in the abysmal of the unknown; let ourselves be there sitting in that transformation without distracting and running away.
Many a times, we fear in life about things that may not be true. Hence, life is but a journey of not changing others, blaming situations, pointing fingers externally but discovering ourselves; the known and the unknown, the good and the ugly, the weaknesses and the strengths and many more; yet having the courage to love ourselves even after knowing the truth. Life is a beautiful journey that we must embark to find ourselves and the potential hidden in us, to leave behind a mark as powerful as our discovery. I have been resisting myself from this discovery; but I finally give in to the unknown and jump into the dark pit of the unknown because I have the trust in the Universe’s ways. After all, we are noting but a drop from the vast ocean; we are nothing but a powerful force that will anyways one day merge with the Supreme. What’s there to fear, hide and be worried about?! Everything is taken care of. The greatest demon is the demon inside us that doesn’t allow us to experience this infinity of love dwelling inside us. The day you can overcome this fear, that day you can say that you are the victorious person on earth. Shading one layer after layer requires commitment and trust. And I finally embrace shading one more layer. Thank you, life!
Love & light, Priyanka
Life & Leadership Coach