"Detachment doesn't mean non-involvement. You can be deeply involved but not entangled." - Jaggi Vasudev
People who are involved in the professional care services almost daily encounter with situations when they deeply feel the pain that their client is going through, yet they maintain their cool & detachment. This doesn't mean that they don't care or that they don't have a heart, but that they are deeply involved in their client's well-being & hence refrain from overtly showing their emotions so that they can help them come out of the pain, mess and challenge. Compassion & empathy are the two most important traits that these professional have and they just fake the real emotions in front of you to take you out of the spiral. Hard to believe?! Yes, they do go through an emotional labour while doing this, it's not easy. But, they do it because they know that only in detachment, they can serve you more powerfully. For these professionals, at times it becomes emotionally draining to witness others in pain, to hear stories of challenges. But, as a leader he/she knows that when the client's only resort at that moment is he/she, he/she chooses to see things from a new perspective to be able to guide the client through the turmoil, to be able to help him/her surf through the challenge.
As coaches, we also have times when we feel the pain that our client is going through. When we see our clients break down in front of us, we too feel the pain. We are human too. But, we love you so much that we don't care to break down at that moment, but let you flow with the emotion by giving you the space to be vulnerable, to get in touch with your emotions that have been holding you back. As you let your tears flow through, we know that you are letting your pain flow out to make space for joy, lightness inside your heart.
In the process of letting go, you will loose many things but you will find yourself in this process. And we wait for that to happen to pick you up from that space. I was asked by one of my clients, "How do you manage with so much of emotional draining that happens for you in the day?" To that I just smiled and said,"By being detached. Detachment doesn't mean I don't feel the pain, but I know how to channelize my emotions to churn out the best in you. And that's what I do with every client."
Hats off to all the professionals who have to go through emotional labour in one or the other form. It takes lot of courage & real compassion to do that. You feel deeply and hence you know how to lead others from that agony, pain. Yes, you can be empathetic and compassionate yet detached. There's is much love inside us. If we can connect to the other being at a level which will evoke emotional response, an authentic genuine care, you know that you have got the access to the abundance inside you.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals