What I have learnt being a coach?
Every session with my clients is like a new project for me. It enlivens me and makes me come home to myself. It is an opportunity for me to learn something new, to uncover another layer of oblivion, believing in the strength within, trusting my body as my tool to lead me forward, because it holds everything inside its space: my mind, my soul, my emotions, my wisdom, my experiences, my beliefs, my memories, everything you name it. Nothing is outside of it. I share my time and engage in an energy exchange with them that leaves me with gratitude every time I see them grow across all the four bodies: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual because I then feel the growth inside of me too. It's a parallel journey and worth the take.
I was wondering what is that I find fulfillment in, after every session?! Is it because they have come closer to their goal? Is it because they are happy? Is it because one of their challenges got resolved? Is it because they are progressing in their path? Yes, for sure it includes all of these. But, there is something more. What is it exactly that gives me inner joy? My inner voice smiles and I fall in love with it again. I realized, it is the process of connecting with the other person on a deeper level where he/she becomes vulnerable, lays the trust and shows that side which is hidden from the world, it is like sharing their world with me during that time that holds my heart, that time, that space which tells,"Yes, I trust you and so showing you that side of me which I am afraid of myself, which I know is not so good in me; yet I know you will be beside me to lead me out, belief in my limitations and not judge me". Uncovering of the essence, the real you is what connects me to them and vice-versa and thus fills me up with deep joy, fulfillment, love and gratitude. When you get the glimpse of the genius, when you get to see the purity inside, the infinite possibilities, it transforms you because there is exchange of positive vibes which enables growth in both. As I see the light within, I realize how easy this is for them to take the next leap. I am filled with compassion at knowing their greatness, their strengths, their limitlessness. This reminds me of Simon Sinek's video on: "Why Leaders Eat Last?" There he talks about the hormones that are activated in our body based on certain activities that we do, he calls this model as EDSO. Endorphine are designed to mask physical pain; Dopamine are activated when we achieve a goal, complete a task. But these two hormones are selfish chemicals that lead to addiction. Serotonin makes us feel valuable. It is the leadership chemical as he calls it. With a release of this hormone, the confidence level goes up. Oxytocin is released when there is feeling of trust, friendship and love. Doing good things for others, giving your time and energy actually increases Oxytocin in your body and makes you feel happy, fulfilled and joyous. So, every time I coach, my Oxytocin goes up and I feel joy, love and fulfillment from within. Here's the video for you to have a better understanding about this entire model:
What I have learnt being a Coach?
- Your body is one of the greatest tool that you can have to feel what your client is feeling, to sense what they are thinking, to use your intuition when you have less data to support you. Because there is much beyond data and numbers; there is infinite wisdom within.
- To take your clients deep to their basement where their essence lies which will support deep, lasting transformation; you have to first do the deep work yourself to enable that mirroring to happen effortlessly. So, have a great Coach by your side to take you on that journey always.Be coachable.
- Be vulnerable first with your clients for them to trust you to be vulnerable with you.
- Make the four agreements to yourself: being impeccable with your words because you know the power of words, do not assume anything, don't take things personally and always give your best no matter what the situation, response or expectations are. Assumptions will ruin you and rob you off your soul and your ability to see the holistic picture.
- Last but not the least, a Coach is like a leader (who makes the client feel safe while going towards the deep corridors of their inner basement uncovering their strategic self because you know growth lies there); like a parent (who nurtures and cares yet challenges when required) and an ally who draws out the greatness in the individual and commits to support, walk the unknown territory, goes deep down to take the person to a place that he/she otherwise wouldn't be comfortable going, yet making them feel safe, valued and enabling them to enjoy & celebrate their wholeness.
And the most important of all learning: Learning is a journey and not a destination. So, keep learning everyday, every moment and keep making difference to others' lives & yours too. More work you do on self, more you evolve as a Coach & more impact you can create in your clients' lives. Coaching is leadership at its pivotal experience.
Love & warmth, Priyanka
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Life & Organizational Development Coach