It's the way you view your world which creates your reality of you, the people you encounter and life in general. Instead of trying to look for things outside us to transform, change and make better, the only simple thing that we need to do is to turn the focus within and have a look inside. You will get all the answers to your questions that have been bothering you. Your quest for love, approval, importance, peace, happiness, purpose, meaning; everything gets resolved once you gain the insight to peep within and see what's there hidden that is not letting you find what you are looking for. The journey inward is a very scary one and hence we resist walking that journey in the first place because it brings us closer to some unknown facts about ourselves, some unacknowledged aspects of our being which we aren't aware of or consciously don't want to know. For us to come out of the cocoon that we are in, we need to be willing to transform, be willing to accept the uncertain and be willing to risk ourselves and trust the process. Unless we do that, we live in oblivion of ourselves and others. We just keep looking outside desiring a beautiful life, a great career, perfect relationships, perfect partner, someone who would understand us, meaning in life and what not. But, alas we don't turn the focus on us and see what is there inside which is getting reflected outside in different forms that I am not attune to. The views that we have of others, ourselves, life and every situation is nothing but a reflection of our inner world. We project our insecurities, our beliefs, our fears outside of us and try to find joy in doing so. But, sadly this is temporary and won't fetch anything in the long run. It will put us back to where we are, with no growth, no evolution happening.
As you look within, the first thing you learn to do is to accept yourself for who you are. Good, bad, ugly, guilty, whatever hidden self resides in you, you learn to accept, forgive and embrace yourself & fall in love with your essence which pure, serene and unscathed. Loving oneself is the best gift that you can gift to yourself. Once you pass this phase, you automatically widen your horizon to accept others and understand them better. Your acceptance level goes beyond imagination! You no longer remain inside the box with rigid views and accept the reality that there can be infinite views that a person can hold and respect the differences. Because there is no truth in the truth that you hold, it's just your truth and not necessarily the only truth. These are your assumptions of what you think and believe to be true. When we attach too much to our thoughts, that becomes our belief that we hold on to and find it hard to release that because that becomes our identity. It's hard to break an identity! Right?! So, we remain inside our own reality without realizing the beauty of other realities. And then suffer internally thinking that life is not beautiful, people are not good and worst of all, there remains vacuum inside which we try to hide from our self & others. We use distractions to protect us from this melancholy feeling and wonder why we aren't happy, why we don't have great relationships, why despite of so many people around I find myself all alone.
Life is a beautiful journey and we create that for us by choosing to walk the path that evolves us, allows us to bloom and not the one that makes us more fearful and puts us back to the dungeon to rot in uncertainty, doubt and fear. We get just one life and how we live it is entirely our choice! You can choose to crib all along, blame others, consider yourself as victim and bury yourself in seeking outside approval and fulfill obligations that you are not 100% committed to or choose to create a life where you hold yourself accountable for everything that is happening in your life, regain the power to change it for better, give yourself that unconditional love to accept yourself and others and walk the journey where you bloom,evolve every passing day & become your best version having it all, nowhere to run after, nothing to prove but just be happy, contented and create meaningful, purposeful impact in the world fulfilling your unique purpose this life-time.
Come home to yourself before it is too late and before you regret on your death bed. Let life not give you scary reminders to do this, let your wisdom enable you to walk this path.Your path is unique and you have to walk it. No else will.
Love and light, Priyanka
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals