"Oh my God! How could I share that side of me? Did I even talk about that secret? I feel so ashamed. I feel so embarrassed to have even spoken about that." Have you ever experienced feeling these thoughts? Well, you had a vulnerability hangover. Never mind, that's one of the best thing that you can let it happen for you. It isn't shameful. It isn't weakness but your courage. Now that your rational mind is playing & judging you, you are feeling embarrassed. But don't be. Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up & be seen for who you truly are. To talk about how you are feeling without hiding anything. Isn't that courageous?!
When you talk about vulnerability, you have to quote Brene Brown. She says,"Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity & change." Do watch out the TED talk by her on The Power of Vulnerability for better insights.
We always talk about our success stories, our achievements; but we hardly dare to talk about our fears, insecurities, our weakness because we fear losing the power, the hold, the control that we have on our emotions, on ourselves & even more the world around us. Many a times we live in regrets, in shame, fearing that if we let ourselves seen, we will be hurt. We project ourselves differently and that's when the conflict inside the mind arises.
Didn't you ever feel good after talking to a friend about something that you never wanted to share with anyone? Didn't you feel light when you spoke about yourself, your emotional state and some not so good stories to someone you trusted? Then why to shy out. Be vulnerable, be seen. Courage doesn't lie in hiding, but the accurate measure lies in your capacity to be vulnerable. So next time you share something about yourself not known to anyone; give yourself a pat on the shoulder.
We may say that it is good to be vulnerable around people who responds you with empathy and understanding. But again if we want them to empathize with us, we have to be first vulnerable. Vulnerability is powerful. It is contagious. Try it out to experience its magic.
Only if you let yourself be seen, you can see. Create that space first for yourself. Have the empathy & understanding for yourself first and then let it out.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals