“I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” - Louise Hay
I hear my client tear up saying that things are not happening, I am lagging behind. I am getting older and yet I haven't progressed much in life as compared to my peers, friends, relatives. "I feel low & sick," I hear many people say. That I am running out of time is a very common expressive phrase used by people now-a-days. Comparison with another person dampens your joy of enjoying your moment & your story. This is a natural and a very human reaction to feel the pain when you see others moving ahead of you. Be it in your profession or in your personal life when you see your peers moving up the ladder, acquiring materialistic possessions, getting married, having a family etc. at their perfect time; you feel bad about yourself. That's when you recall your good old days and try to pacify your pain by saying that I did this, that; I was this, that; I had this, that; your thoughts keep pouring. You even try to put yourself in that person's situation and fool yourself by saying that if I were in his/her situation I could have done this/that; if I got that opportunity, I would have had this/that breakthrough. You try hard to convince yourself that you are good too, you are worthy too and you too have had some experiences which defines your worth, success. But the truth is, as you forget your journey & focus on the journey of another; as you ignore your timeline and focus on the timeline of another person; you dis-empower yourself and disrespect your being. True success doesn't lie in relative growth with another person but with yourself. Look back and see how far you have come. That's what your story is, your success is, your milestone/s are. Be proud of them.
Focusing on another with negative emotion just as envy, anger, rage, fear will only affect you and no one else. This will remind you of your scarceness and will give you more pain. And when you don't process these emotions well, you will further be dragged into the vicious cycle of being self-critical or become critical of others. With this emotional state, you will either over-perform or under-perform based on your coping strategy. Either one isn't good for you. Remember that you are moving at your pace, at your time zone that best suits you. You receive what you need at this moment. No less, no more. And if you haven't come very far as you may think, then that's also your choice to remain in that state. Keep walking and keep giving your 100% and let the rest unfold in it's own time, a time that is perfect for you. Don't be impatient to arrive at your PERFECT TIME. You may regret later.
Achieving things at the earliest possible time has become so toxic that even at work we manifest that desire. This behaviour does no good but shadows our ability to see our gifts, our potential and our strengths which come to the fore at its own unique time.
Sometimes we do so much, yet we fail to see that till we sit & reflect on how far we have come. I urge you to acknowledge all that you have done in your entire lifetime and then share your experience. How you feel about yourself? Do you still feel low or you feel great about your own self after these acknowledgement? Paste these at a place that you can easily see and remind yourself of how far you have come.
Let's practice acknowledgment, let's acknowledge ourselves and let us enable ourselves to see our own gifts, achievements. These acknowledgement can be as petty as you can remember. Because once these were those precious moments that you wanted & longed for. Dive back & collect all of them from your memory.
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Life & Organizational Development Coach