As mentioned in my earlier blog post, there are different types of people and Enneagram points out 9 specific types. One of these types is a number 2 type categorized as helpers. They are close to my heart because they genuinely care for others. These helpers are usually loving, caring, generous and empathetic people who feel deeply for others and their needs. And often for these types of people, saying NO becomes a challenge. They overdo for others, they are givers, they are sensitive to other's feelings and they are driven by the constant need to serve others. But, the negative impact of this great attitude can be this that they ignore themselves and their well-being & hence very often become mere door-mates, sounding boards for people.
The art of learning to say NO even though it is important for all types; in particularly for type 2, this is very much required for their own self-growth & development. Hence, my focus is on type 2 personality in particular in today's post.When you forget to take care of yourself while taking care of others, you are doing absolute injustice to your inner being. Remember that there aren't other types who are going to take care of you the way you do for others. In such as a case, you have to consciously learn the art of saying NO when you are drained out, when you know that it is not worth your time & energy.
Say NO to takers, to relationships that aren't of equals, roles that don't value your contribution, to people that don't care for you, to things that drain you of your energy, to people that tries to control you & use your service without gratitude.....Define what you want to say NO to. Set your boundaries. Yes, giving is good but not at the cost of your well-being. Accept when you feel hurt, pain when mistreated and walk away from that, express your needs to others, don't expect them to empathize with you the way you do for others, everyone is different, they are a different type. The most important of all, try to find some others sources of feeling loved, accepted & cared for other than helping others. Don't let people to take you for granted. Speak up when you feel you are being treated unfairly. Only when you invest your time & energy for the right people, thing & work; you will make a bigger contribution that you are meant to make. Only then you will realize that your qualities are truly valued & appreciated. Only then you will leave a mark in your chosen field.
Some famous 2s are:
Jimmy Carter, Princess Diana, Celine Dion,Jesus Christ, Madonna, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa.
So do you see your possibilities & what you can create? Love yourself, take care of yourself & learn to say NO when required. Some of the positive things that 2's can tell themselves are:
1. I need to take care of myself as I take care of others.
2. I need to receive love and not just give.
3. I will say NO when required & I don't have to feel bad about it or be critical for not being able to help everyone that comes my way.
Last but not the least, wait until asked for help.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals