Quite often, we spend our years in changing the environment, we try to change our behaviour forcefully and sometimes, we even try to change the circumstances. We also try to boost the endorphin hormones by using distractions & instant gratifications. That's our way of using our coping mechanisms while facing with problems, difficult circumstances, even while dealing with life as a whole. Well, this strategy works but not in the long term. For a lasting transformation, for a fulfilling transformation, we need to work from within.
When I was young, I came across Gandhiji's quote: "You must be the change that you want to see in the world". I didn't really understand the depth of this. Even if I understood from a certain level, I couldn't co-relate to my mind which usually looks for scientific validation or rationals of some kind. You may attribute this to my science background during school days. Science was one of my favourite subjects. That's a different topic altogether and hence I shall not deviate from today's topic. But, what my point is, today I understand the very essence of the quote. My coach explained me that and I thought I will replicate this in my blog in my own simple words for everyone to understand.
At the very essence of this existence, lies two powers or you may call it polarity: one is LOVE & the other one is FEAR. At the core of every being, the fear is predominant by default. I also learnt about this fear aspect during the conscious leadership workshop last year. Fear is inherent in us. It acts as a protection mechanism. It saves us. But this fear acts as a deterrent to the truest manifestation of our self. Fear creates limiting beliefs and thoughts. Mind it, that our mind keeps on swinging from one place to another which we may call small mind to bigger mind. At the slightest trigger of circumstances, our small mind that carries the limiting thoughts arising due to deep seeded fear becomes apparent & powerful. This in turn creates negative emotional state. What happens when we have negative emotions? We shut down and the inherent coping mechanism comes to play.
Enneagram talks about 9 personality types with each representing a view that resonates with the way people think, feel & act in relation to the world, others and themselves. I wouldn't go deep into the Enneagram now. These are deep coping mechanisms adopted by individuals and accordingly they behave in a particular way which is again very much what Myers & Briggs talks about. And when we behave in a certain way, we create our circumstances in every aspect of our life. So, circumstances don't create us, we create it.
The crux of the matter is, if we want to change our circumstances, we need to look deep within. We need to deal with what's there inside us. We need to work on converting that fear to love which is a much powerful energy & source of thoughts.
So, do you want to spend years changing circumstances or do want to start the transformation from within? Indeed the journey of transformation is beautiful. It is refreshing & brings a new perspective to our lives and how we look at things. I invite you all to start this journey, the younger you start, the better life circumstances will be for you.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals