Few days back, I got a feedback from one of my well wishers who loves reading my posts. I was told by my well wisher that in my last two posts, the natural flow that I had while writing was missing & there was some disconnect in my writing. I was not able to articulate my thoughts the way I used to do. This was a very constructive feedback given to me. After all, this is for my own good. So, I should be really really grateful to have received this feedback. For a second, my intellectual arrogance tried to come up, not accept what I heard & simply drop the feedback. But that moment I became aware of my limiting thoughts & asked myself, "If I believe in the positive feedback given to me by my well-wisher time & again, then why is it difficult for me to accept this feedback coming from the same person now?" This simple awakening made me realize that I had let my guards on. I was judging my abilities & feeling that I am not good enough, I was believing that people don't love me & my writings, they don't understand what I am writing & life is such a struggle to even make other people realize my frame of mind. I was juggling with these thoughts which are nothing but my small mind working.
Everyone of us has this small mind & big mind playing its due role. Sometimes we realize and many a times we don't, we ignore. When I operate from a space of fear, judgment, I empower my small mind with limiting thoughts to rule me. But, when I operate from a space of love, positiveness, love for myself & people around me & life as a whole, the entire dynamic changes & I give power to my big mind which has limitless ability to accept, understand & create.
As I dropped my small mind & accepted the feedback, I realized my mind was in a better position to analyze what could have happened. Then I found out that I was actually distracted by things happening around me & lost my focus last week. For a while, I deviated from the path that I was walking and I told myself that it is okay to be distracted since I am human.What is more important is to be on track after realization. I guess distractions are very much important to know oneself & what one upholds. Well, I don't want to get into this analysis but let me bring you back to what point I am trying to make.
See, when we put our energy, focus on what we couldn't achieve & not on the feedback, the repercussions are different. Why do we say failures either build or break us? It's because effective performers learn from their mistakes & not obsess about them. They focus on the feedback from failures & not on their failures.
When you fail, replay the event & watch like a coach to see what could have been done differently or better. But, when you succeed, relive those moments in your mind's eye & reinforce them so that you have a greater impact of this success in your mind. An interesting study revealed that successful athletes remembered their success moments strongly but vaguely remembered the details about their failures. On the other hand, mediocre athletes remembered their failure moments strongly & when asked about success, they could hardly remember the details.
So, next time when someone gives you feedback, first reflect from where it is coming. If that's coming from your well-wisher, do take it to help you grow; don't be obsessed with the negative emotions of the small mind but with the content of the feedback. You are limitless, abundant & full of possibilities. When you get off-track, just put yourself back on track consciously by focusing on the feedback and not on the failure.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals