Have you ever been ghosted? Have you ever been give the silent treatment? Have you ever been left unanswered, wondering what happened? Have you been left with the feeling of 'you don't matter now'? Well, owning this feeling is hard. Sometimes owning the side that we detest experiencing, is hard. I have felt this way and I can tell you it sucks, it is painful. The very first thing that comes to our mind is: "What did I do? What happened?". See the focus in such cases is always on oneself. And many a times one is left with these stories of making oneself wrong for another person's behaviour, making it mean something about self & living with it for a lifetime too. And in many cases depending on the impact, it leads to psychological problems as well.
Let's take this phenomenon to the corporate world where people are constantly trying to prove their worth, protect their identity, maintain their status and the list is endless. In simple words, people are striving on survival mechanisms in a scenario like this. Organizations where there is no care culture and cutthroat competition prevails, very often you will find that once an employee resigns, leaves, asked to leave, laid off, terminated or even rejected in interviews, they aren't treated with respect and care. Rather they are given silent treatments, withdrawn from participation, from involvement & immediately cut off. The same employee who had been working, contributing and was a part of the organization's growth, is now suddenly cut off. I do understand the need to do this from the standpoint of confidentiality like not sharing detail about confidential data, project etc., but what if when you energetically & intentionally cut the person off without even empathizing with him/her? This shows either of the two things:
1. That you now don't care for the person because the person isn't an employee that you see in your future together. So, your care in the first place had a condition attached to it.
2. You simply considered them as just means to your end with no emotional attachment.
Whichever stance it might be, this is sourced in fear and not in love which is the true consciousness of every soul. Fear can show up in many forms and in your wildest assumptions can have their own truth but my question is, "What kind of culture are you feeding in? A culture where there is cutthroat competition, people are merely objects?!" Till the time you are serving the purpose you are in, if not you are out?! What if a culture of care is nurtured and modeled? What if the leader paves the way towards a more inclusive culture for humanity and love? What if vision of abundance creation merges with spiritual growth of humanity in the organizations?
This similar pattern can be seen in other areas of connection as well. Take the platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, WhatsApp etc. How many of us truly connect with an intent to connect? The same norm is followed: pseudo-connect, ghost/silent treatment, lack of bonding/connection. This has become our default mode of operation whether we like it or not. And we are left in world devoid of deep connection, bonding, care, respect and connection. We form communities which can benefit our growth not as human beings but help achieve our professional objectives. Once that is achieved, we are disconnected. We learn this behaviour from the ones leading it and we follow the trend without questioning. I really wonder what's the future of our upcoming generations! What lessons we shall pass on to them when we live in a world where we are more concerned about adding people to our list and least bothered with true human connections.
Connections, ongoing connections need vulnerability, the will to be open, truthful and care for another person not for one's gain but purely with an intent to connect with another. Are we willing to create a culture of care in this cutthroat competitive world? If not, where are we heading to and why? If yes, let's connect, converse, get curious about one another without judgements, without agendas; if at all there is an agenda, let it be for the greater good of the person and humanity. What is the first step towards creating this? Let's stop ghosting, not not responding, giving silent treatments and start engaging in conversations. And this needs trust, courage and will. Rest will follow.
Believing in you,
#careculture #connection #leadership #humanity #organizationalculture #life
Life & Organizational Development Coach