PRIYANKA DUTTA
  • Home
  • Client Testimonials, Featuring In Forbes India Marquee, Awards
  • Essence of my work
  • Your support makes a difference
  • My YouTube Channel
  • Blog
  • My Amazon Author Page
  • Insights
  • My Published Writings
  • Assessments
  • Leadership In Crisis
  • Vulnerability & Inspiring videos
  • Find me in SpeakIn
  • My interview with BrilliantRead
  • My Interview With TGV Podcast

Are you seeking for constant validation?

7/26/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
​"Don't seek approval. This may be the toughest suggestion for you to follow & the most important. Whether you are a teenager seeking approval from your peers, a middle-aged parent seeking approval of your kids, or a man or woman seeking the approval of your partner, it all amounts to the same thing. You are giving your personal power away every time you seek validation from someone else for who you are."-T. J. MacGregor

Validation simply means approval. We need validation for our work, we seek social validation; getting a thumbs up has become so crucial for our existence in today's world. It has become so obsessive that even if we know that the task we have done is great, unless & until we get a validation, we feel very poorly of our self. As if getting a thumbs up is the approval stamp for our work & existence as a whole. This isn't abnormal, this is quite human. We all like it. We all like to be liked. We love follower-ship; as & when we post something in the virtual platform, we like to be validated for what we posted. But, when we define our existence, our worth with validation; the problem starts happening then. If you regularly seek validation, then you give the power to others to judge you and your existence, this becomes very needy & anything needy is always creepy. This affects your choices because then you operate from a space of pleasing others and not doing what you are supposed to do. Even if it may conflict with your inner values & feelings, you may do stuffs just for the sake of getting validation. And then one day you realize that these are all futile. You just wasted your time & energy on things that really didn't matter to you. There will be lack of fulfillment & even loss of self-worth.

The question that you need to ask yourself is, "Why the need for validation?" Do you feel you are not good enough? Is there deep-seeded self-esteem issues? Don't you love yourself and your uniqueness? Is there an iota of doubt about your potential & capabilities? The more you seek for external approval, the more you will lose yourself in the process because it will act as a distraction for your growth & development. You will always remain unhappy because you have given the power to the external world to define your worth. But the fact is, your value is who you are. The person inside you. Unless you give validation to that you, you will always be hungry for some external validation. Only when you aren't aware of who you truly are, when you don't feel good about your own self, you would keep juggling between the need to be good for the world; to be liked by them & the person who truly you are. But, when you are confident of yourself, when you love yourself, when you know your uniqueness, you would just be fine. Likes or no likes, it doesn't matter. You will keep walking that path. 

"He who controls may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." Lao Tzu.
​
So, how to stop seeking for validation from becoming faulty habit detrimental to our own growth & mastery?
Picture
1. Acknowledge your need for validation. Try to figure out the underlying quest for seeking for approval. You will discover the truth if you truly give yourself the permission to analyse this emotion. How do you feel? Why do you feel the need for approval? What is the root cause for this longing?  

2. Don't feel ashamed about anything that you know about yourself. Even if you don't feel good about these aspects, remember that everything that happens is a part of the building process of who you are. Accept these experiences with gratitude. Love yourself unconditionally.
 
3. Dig out the diamond in you. Only you can and no one else can do it for you. Discover your strengths, your uniqueness. Define your self-worth. 

4. Practice positive self-talk. You are the judge of what's cool & good for you.Own yourself & hold that power. Do not hand it over to others. 
Picture
Warmth,
​Priyanka
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Life & Organizational Development Coach

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    September 2022
    August 2022
    February 2022
    September 2021
    September 2020
    July 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017

    Categories

    All
    Coaching
    Empowerment
    Entrepreneurs
    Healing
    HR
    Human Dynamics
    Leadership
    Life
    My Niche
    Poem
    Spirituality
    Transformation
    Transition

Copyrights © 2022 Priyanka Dutta. All rights reserved.
  • Home
  • Client Testimonials, Featuring In Forbes India Marquee, Awards
  • Essence of my work
  • Your support makes a difference
  • My YouTube Channel
  • Blog
  • My Amazon Author Page
  • Insights
  • My Published Writings
  • Assessments
  • Leadership In Crisis
  • Vulnerability & Inspiring videos
  • Find me in SpeakIn
  • My interview with BrilliantRead
  • My Interview With TGV Podcast