We all live by our stories and we hold on to it strongly. But, stories are not the reality, it's not the 100% truth that we easily assume it to be. Stories are just stories that are past and nowhere relevant in the present. Because of this attachment to our version of story, we live in constant state of stress, worry, fear, unhappiness and pacify our pain by putting blame and projecting our inner reality outside. The question is not about dropping the story but investigating our thoughts around that story that has the power to liberate us and set us free. When we are free, our thoughts and actions are in sync and they are far more clearer, kinder and fearless. All the battles that we are fighting outside first needs resolution in the inside; after all we are nothing more than what we are inside of us and we create that reality for us everywhere.
At age 38, I am glad that I found that liberation inside me that has set me free from the shackles of my own attachment to uninvestigated thoughts and my old stories that had been over long back, but I am holding on to them and replaying those in my mind with every thought that I feed in, thereby feeling the angst, pain, fear and worry of living it again. Loving and accepting the reality is so grounding & humbling that I spare myself from unwanted speculation of myself and others and just live in the moment. When I live in the moment, there is so much power. My entire energy is just being used right here, right now. What happens when I do that? I become saner than before, wiser than who I was, productive in my actions, enjoy life more than what I did and best of all become aware of the power of truth, the power of reality as it is and accept it with open arms. This to me is empowerment!
Most of our lives is spent in focusing on others' business. When I say others' business, I mean when I put my energy, thinking and thought on what others should do and not do, what should have been right, not right, what my expectations from others is, how a system should function, how people should act, behave, how they should treat me for my actions and behaviours etc. etc. We spend our lives doing this: consciously and unconsciously. The result of this is, we walk away from discovering the truth that lie within us and just become a talking saint. When the focus is shifted into our own business, we find liberation, freedom, peace, love and ecstasy. We all point at others and try to correct them, but failing to realize that major work needs to be done in us because that's our business first and as we do this we enable the change in others because the world mirrors our behaviours and actions. Not the other way around. From a victim state to a creator is the most wonderful gift that we can gift ourselves with. But, doing this is tough. When we focus on being right, then we cannot uncover our truth. But, when we commit to living in truth, then we can drop the guards and see the reality. When you see the reality, chances are that you will feel disgusted initially or even feel judged by yourself because after all you are shedding a reality that you had dearly owned for long. But, now that you have uncovered it, you lay there like a new born pure soul fearing to stand up on its own and doubting self; but with time you'll learn to sail this journey too. It's all in your mind. The day you can accept it for who it is, that's the day you are free to feel joy, love and peace within. And then what happens is nothing but a life of bliss, meaning, contribution, purpose and eternal progress.
This writing is inspired after reading the book, "Loving what is by Byron Katie" and I am so grateful to her for this book. This is what I needed at this point in life. She did the work on herself and with that liberation, she is transforming the world around her including me. As she says, "Judge your thought, investigate it, turnaround and set yourself free." Here I am investigating a thought that used to bother me for long. The four questions as laid down in the book is asked my me to me and watch how things turn around. You too can see and try it out for yourself and uncover the truth.
My thought (I am judging the system from the story that I have created in me): I dislike system because it doesn't give me the freedom to be me.
Proof of truth: I become just a follower of instructions and lose my creativity. My productivity goes down.
First investigative question: Is this true that I dislike system......?
Me: Yes, I have felt this way.
Second investigative question: Can this be really true, 100% true?
Me: Not sure, I haven't asked myself this question before.
Have you always felt this way? Where there opportunities were you felt free being in the system?
Me: Yes, there were few exceptions to this.
Third investigative question: How do you react when you belief the thought that I dislike system because it curbs my freedom?
Me: I shut down, withdraw, repulse, resist it and at times become rebellious too to fight it out.I feel angry and suffocated and feel like running away from it thinking that leaving it would fetch me liberation.
Is there a stress-free reason to hold on to this thought?
Me: Not really, I can't find any at this moment.
Fourth investigative question: Who would you be when you drop this thought and how would you behave?
Me: I would be happy, productive, creative and use my potential to the fullest while in the system.
Turn arounds (You turn around your initial thought and direct it towards you):
Hilarious but insightful isn't it?! And any turnaround is useless if that is not backed by action. My journey of uncovering my truth is on. As I turned around my own thoughts, I just set myself free from holding on to a story that was causing pain in me and not allowing me to think clearly and accordingly perform to my best ability.
We all unfold in our own sweet time and that's the beauty of this journey. Every experience that you encounter is required for you to enable that unique growth in you that you need. Welcome home and enjoy this journey at your own right time.
Love and light, Priyanka
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals