"Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things." - Arthur Schopenhauer
The angel of death teaches us how to be truly alive, how to be free and how to be oneself. Yesterday, I attended the prayer meet of one of our acquaintances who left for his heavenly abode, leaving behind his family & his young son. As I sat there and as I saw the face of the little boy who lost his father, I could see a smile in his face. An innocent smile who is yet to figure out what really has happened to him. As I walked towards him, he greeted me with a smiling "hello" and it melted my heart. I could no longer stay strong and allowed my emotions to silently flow. I was amazed at the strength of the young boy of 7, which of course came from his innocence to the reality of the current situation. At that moment, I also realized the true meaning of life yet again. A new understanding of life triggered inside me that moment. It made me think where I stand as far as living my life is concerned. I realized I am not living my life to the fullest. It was a reminder to me to live life, make new agreements with myself, understand life from a new perspective and live life the way it is truly meant to be. Although I have come a long way breaking many of the old agreements that I made with myself based on my older understanding of life; I have just touched the tip of the iceberg. Sadly, the very beliefs that we live with, are not our personal choice but something that is bestowed to us since we are born and unconsciously we agree to accept them the way they are. I realized that there is much more to becoming alive, living life truly and being oneself to actually enjoy its power. We never know when this life will leave us suddenly, leaving behind nothing but regret/probably not even that, for not living life to our fullest. Be like the child, be wild & free; but with a difference. And the difference is, instead of innocence we can use wisdom to free ourselves. Don’t be afraid to be alive again. Live a new understanding, a new dream.
Along with this realization, I also came across a book that shook me to the core and made me think about my own beliefs that I have been holding tight. Beliefs about myself, people, life in general. You get in touch with those beliefs when you harness the strength to face them & challenge them. These beliefs got formed much before I could gather my wisdom to accept/reject them. And as I grew up, I agreed to accept these because these were gifted to me by the people around me, my well-wishers, my environment. Saying 'No' to them means being rejected and be thrown into a world unknown. So, acceptance was the only thing that I could do. Their intent was good, even they didn't realize about the harm that they have been causing to others and themselves by transferring these beliefs without really confronting them/rebelling against them. They too couldn't be free from its shackles. But, as I grew I realized some of these beliefs didn't make me happy. Some of these didn't serve me. I wanted to do away with them but I was fearful of leaving them because that would mean upsetting the very people who always wanted my well-being. Fear of judgement, fear of being a victim clouded my mind. These beliefs were deep-seated and were around my own capabilities, my self-worth, my potential; about people, about life. When these beliefs are passed on to you, you accept these as a gift. But, then you loose out your ability to form your own empowering beliefs. So, here I choose today to go one step deeper: accept a new way of life, a new understanding of life by embracing the following:
1. Use words as a power to inspire you & others to experience joy, love & possibilities & not to judge others/self or make others/self feel guilty. Words are powerful! Your choice of words have the power to create your dream or even destroy them. So, be mindful from today.
2. Don't get affected by what you hear about yourself from others, including your self-talk. It's nothing but an emotional reaction. Whatever may be the opinion of others/self of you, don't take it personally. It is their perspective that is talking and has nothing to do with you, including yours. So, be compassionate & loving no matter what; to yourself and others.
3. Don't use your judgement & consider them to be true.. Assumptions will ruin your thinking power & fog your decision making capacity. Assumptions spoils your communication flow, depletes your energy and creates unseen barrier.
4. Always give your 100%. Never refrain yourself from giving your best even when you are not in good mood, or even when things are not working right.
It is easier said than done. These are difficult to embrace at one go. One has to keep practicing it. You can transform only when you become aware. You will know what to do with the awareness. So, the key to transformation is awareness. And then by using your power to create your intentions, you can transform yourself. Personal development is the journey that we choose for ourselves to be alive again, be free and be truly happy.
Coach to People Leaders, Start-up Founders & Transitioning professionals